Zookeepers eventually accepted that Timmy the Thorazine Chimp was never going to be a crowd favorite. —Torc.  |
| Bobo eventually gave up. Even when the feces stuck to the window, it was only marginally prettier than the children. —Torc. |
| Monkey dead monkey dead blood no play monkey hurt no play Koko sad —Koko |
| The hotel didn't look so sleazy from the outside, but the swimming pool was definitely one of the filthiest Bert had ever seen. —wuxia otter |
| "Who put that glass there?" —Bosch |
| TO: All zookeepers SUBJECT: Airholes —zwit, salvaging |
| "Come see the Big Bleeding Dead Thing at the Toledo Zoo!" —Zach the Conqueror |
| This is the most fucked up version of "Dance Dance Revolution" I've ever seen. —Machival |
| "Monkey see, monkey masturbate" is actually the more accurate aphorism. —Sergei |
| Months later, atrophied and lazy, Bonzo and an infinite number of his contemporaries would crawl back to their typewriters and once more try to whack out an acceptable IADL caption. —the rev |
| The reason the phrase "More fun than one sedated monkey in a depressing filth-strewn shithole" never caught on outside of Ohio. —tie |
| "...on the contrary, Inspector, I believe that the murderer is right here in the room!" —Nyder |
| As visions of flinging poo danced in his head. —William Wayne Webb |
| To cut costs, the zoo board chose to combine the need for power lines and fake vines. Soon after the board categorized this decision as "not entirely successful." —Torc. |
| Hah, hah. Very funny. Who moved the fucking rope? —Weasel |
| The crowd watched in horror. Bobo the chimp slept on, unaware that he was about to be trampled by Simba the Anorexic Elephant. —The Mad Puffin |
| The next twelve year old who uses a goddamned flash is gonna find out what "going apeshit" really means. —rudy |
| Housekeeping hated dealing with Courtney Love's hotel room. —me_tew |
| No tour of the Neverland Ranch is complete without a tour of his personal bathroom. —me_tew |
| Koko signs "No seriously I couldn't eat another kitten." —Yakko (semi-salvaging) |
| Ugh... No... More... Banana... Dacquiris... —Jester |
