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The captain always goes down with his sidewalk. —Zach the Conqueror (props to slibs) Link for this caption
VH1's "Behind the Pilot" chronicles Cap'n Crunch's disastrous history as a tugboat pilot and his meteoric rise to fame as a breakfast cereal spokesman. —sharper Link for this caption
To your left you will see our most popular attraction: "The Tomb of the Unknown Old Spice User." —Doc Evil  Link for this caption
I'll bet he's seen some things that would make a hardened sailor rust. —noddin0ff Link for this caption
...so if we ever crash into the sun, you can blame this dickhead. —Torc. Link for this caption
Anyone who wants to pilot a boat in the U.S. Navy has to have at least 100 hours experience on the simulator. —Zach the Conqueror Link for this caption
No wonder everyone hates the X-Box controllers... —Zach the Conqueror Link for this caption
Cap'n Andy of the Caption Salvage Crew gets stoned off his dinghy and scours the park for discarded pop culture references. —Riff (Arrr! I be salvaging meself!) Link for this caption
"This 'Planet Earth' model may get trillions to the gallon, but it doesn't corner worth a damn." —Sergei Link for this caption
Captain Billy endlessly searched the park, looking for the white pidgeon that befouled his leg. —Bosch Link for this caption
Sony blamed its marketing department for the dismal failure of the SeaMan amphibious personal transport. —Riff Link for this caption
Lady, I Don't Care Who You Are, Get The Fuck Off My Boat, Medusa, mixed media, 2003 —Nyder (Salvaging Several) Link for this caption
But the Megopoly game soon ended when Jeff rolled a three and landed on Boardwalk. —Torc. Link for this caption
What do you do with a drunken skipper? Dip him in bronze and put him on a marble pedestal, apparently... —Entogal Link for this caption
JESUS W. CHRIST ON A SENATE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE THAT IS ONE BIG FUCKING MARBLE SALTY SEA DOG MEMORIAL STATUE THING —anon Link for this caption
Axis (grunt!) TILTED (unghh!) Must (grunt!) Straighten (urgh!) WORLD (uhhhh!!!) —not elsie Link for this caption
"It never fails. You think it'd be fun to go and spin the wheel in the middle of the park ... then some joker comes up and covers you in quick-drying cement." —Riff  Link for this caption
Petrified, Captain Smith could not make the turn in time. —William Wayne Webb Link for this caption
The monument to David Boner, inventor of the world's first penis vacuum pump. —me_tew Link for this caption
The regal Captain MacIntyre, sailing the North American tectonic plate on its five eon mission to Australia. —Lloyd Link for this caption
A prduction still from Speed 3: Continental Drift. —ewhac Link for this caption
Damn modern clocks... WHAT THE HELL TIME IS IT? —ewhac Link for this caption
All right, you guys. Who moved the ocean? —anon Link for this caption
Hey! Didn't I say to cut the ropes if the whale beached itself? Huh? —anon Link for this caption
10 to 1 his left turn signal is still on. —me_tew Link for this caption
This is what happened to the guy smoking all the weed in #268..... err.. or was it #429? #122? Fuck, I hate starting over. —Bucky Link for this caption
Once a year, a mysterious individual left flowers and a bucket of chum. —anon Link for this caption
By the time Captain Pugwash had found the brakes, he had not only steamed into the harbour, but into the quay, the dockside, two warehouses, sixteen telephone poles and the war memorial. —Nyder Link for this caption
Many people think Philo P. Segway's invention would have succeeded have a small enough steam-engine been available. —Paul Roub Link for this caption
*airhorns* GET OUT OF MY WAY! —anon Link for this caption


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