The captain always goes down with his sidewalk. —Zach the Conqueror (props to slibs)  |
| VH1's "Behind the Pilot" chronicles Cap'n Crunch's disastrous history as a tugboat pilot and his meteoric rise to fame as a breakfast cereal spokesman. —sharper |
| To your left you will see our most popular attraction: "The Tomb of the Unknown Old Spice User." —Doc Evil |
| I'll bet he's seen some things that would make a hardened sailor rust. —noddin0ff |
| ...so if we ever crash into the sun, you can blame this dickhead. —Torc. |
| Anyone who wants to pilot a boat in the U.S. Navy has to have at least 100 hours experience on the simulator. —Zach the Conqueror |
| No wonder everyone hates the X-Box controllers... —Zach the Conqueror |
| Cap'n Andy of the Caption Salvage Crew gets stoned off his dinghy and scours the park for discarded pop culture references. —Riff (Arrr! I be salvaging meself!) |
| "This 'Planet Earth' model may get trillions to the gallon, but it doesn't corner worth a damn." —Sergei |
| Captain Billy endlessly searched the park, looking for the white pidgeon that befouled his leg. —Bosch |
| Sony blamed its marketing department for the dismal failure of the SeaMan amphibious personal transport. —Riff |
| Lady, I Don't Care Who You Are, Get The Fuck Off My Boat, Medusa, mixed media, 2003 —Nyder (Salvaging Several) |
| But the Megopoly game soon ended when Jeff rolled a three and landed on Boardwalk. —Torc. |
| What do you do with a drunken skipper? Dip him in bronze and put him on a marble pedestal, apparently... —Entogal |
| JESUS W. CHRIST ON A SENATE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE THAT IS ONE BIG FUCKING MARBLE SALTY SEA DOG MEMORIAL STATUE THING —anon |
| Axis (grunt!) TILTED (unghh!) Must (grunt!) Straighten (urgh!) WORLD (uhhhh!!!) —not elsie |
| "It never fails. You think it'd be fun to go and spin the wheel in the middle of the park ... then some joker comes up and covers you in quick-drying cement." —Riff |
| Petrified, Captain Smith could not make the turn in time. —William Wayne Webb |
| The monument to David Boner, inventor of the world's first penis vacuum pump. —me_tew |
| The regal Captain MacIntyre, sailing the North American tectonic plate on its five eon mission to Australia. —Lloyd |
| A prduction still from Speed 3: Continental Drift. —ewhac |
| Damn modern clocks... WHAT THE HELL TIME IS IT? —ewhac |
| All right, you guys. Who moved the ocean? —anon |
| Hey! Didn't I say to cut the ropes if the whale beached itself? Huh? —anon |
| 10 to 1 his left turn signal is still on. —me_tew |
| This is what happened to the guy smoking all the weed in #268..... err.. or was it #429? #122? Fuck, I hate starting over. —Bucky |
| Once a year, a mysterious individual left flowers and a bucket of chum. —anon |
| By the time Captain Pugwash had found the brakes, he had not only steamed into the harbour, but into the quay, the dockside, two warehouses, sixteen telephone poles and the war memorial. —Nyder |
| Many people think Philo P. Segway's invention would have succeeded have a small enough steam-engine been available. —Paul Roub |
| *airhorns* GET OUT OF MY WAY! —anon |
