Michael Jackson, circa 2025. —me_tew  |
| I. am. SO. happy. to. be. here. mommy. —Moe the Maneater |
| That Real Doll Company has just crossed the line.... —cip |
| "Okay, honey. Smile real big for the camera! Show us those pretty teeth! That's... it... smile... smile.... real... big... for the... for the... yes, my mistress. The portal has been opened! Hail to the dark lord Arzagoth!" —anon |
| "Mary Beth you stop that right now. These Glamor Shots are expensive. I don't want you scanning him until his brain explodes like you did to that nice man at Sears." —Solomon Grundy |
| All right then, how about you, my good man? Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? —Solomon Grundy |
| Why... yes... I'll... buy.... a.... Spinnwebe.... mug..... why... not.... two? —Bucky |
| Revlon's spokesperson for their new "Run-proof, smudge-proof, 8-days-locked-in-a-Camaro's-trunk-proof" makeup. —anon |
| Read me Pat the Bunny. Or I'll swallow your soul. —anon |
| Exhibit #12B, Presented by the Senate Committee on Prohibiting Parents from Naming Their Daughters "Madison" —pigtard |
| Tyfanie-Aymber seriously contemplates her mother's ultimatum: "either pick it up and sparkle like the goddamn superstar you are - or no more Christmas. It's your choice." —AliasN |
| Cooool. Live-action anime! —me_tew |
| Joan Collins: The Kindergarten Years. —Nyder |
| The weird thing is the way those eyes follow you around the room. And into the next room. And the next. And so on until you blow your brains out with an assault rifle. —Nyder |
| OK, but I bet I got better grades. —Nyder |
| Class of 2003 Valedictorian at Tammy Faye Pre-School. —Mortal Comedy |
| Eventually, the Machines got smart, and stopped making terminators look like bulked-up Austrians or hot blonde models, and started making them look like children instead. Innocent children. Innocent, gaze-penetrating, soul-stealing, whore-ish children. —Craig |
| The Cute! It burns! —anon |
| Bitch larvae. —Torc. |
| Although the punishment was harsh, Justin never did spraypaint Mrs. Smith's cat again —k.a |
| OK, that's great, Jessica - now how about one with a cigarette? —rudy |
| *gasp* Eyelash implants! I thought those were only legal in Paraguay! —squidflakes (ripping the Simpsons) |
| Those mean old police officers wanted to shut down our brothel! But they never counted on the pluck and gee darn cuteness of Becky, the Littlest Harlot. —squidflakes |
| Holy crap! Do you know how many plug-ins for Photoshop it takes to do that to an image? —squidflakes |
| See, THIS is what happens when you don't pay enough attention to that unholy union of Nazi scientists and sorcerors that's been renting out the Elks Lodge all summer. —antihero |
| The producers of Star Trek decided to think outside the box when casting their newest captain. —haem |
| Little Timmy rued the day he crossed the Mary Kay Commandos —Entogal |
| Well, this'll keep the roaches out of the cupboards. —Entogal |
| Why one should never watch Gospel Television while pregnant.... —k.a |
| Pixel's animation department is getting out of hand. —dALY |
| Wait'll she puts on her makeup.... —rudy |
| No, Mr. Captioner Person, I expect you to die, —wuxia otter |
| The most disturbing aspect of this image is that it was taken from an eBay auction page. —Bucky |
| Usually, cutenymph12 is a 34 year old male programmer from Peoria. Sometimes, though, reality swings disturbing the other way. —Bucky |
| Mommy's little baby loves Valium, Valium, Mommy's little baby loves Valium pills... —unclemike |
| No captions, healthy explanations, or remotely wholesome feelings available for this picture. —Bosch |
| All this needs is a MIDI of a toy piano being randomly banged and jangled, and my dreams will be officially corrupted forever. —Bosch |
| This is so wrong...Man, I can just hear the seventh seal cracking open... —anon |
| R. Kelly's blow-up doll. —Anonymous One |
| I'm sorry, Mr. Cthulhu is dead and dreaming at the moment. This is his service. Would you care to leave a message? —SlipNot |
| I really don't think that captioning the Anti-Christ is a wise idea. —Zach the Conqueror |
| It ain't pretty being easy. —Torc. |
| The numbers are in, there's 5 states where downloading this picture will get you arrested and 9 states that will allow you to marry her. —FixN2Sin |
| What To Expect When You're Expecting... Evil —Midrax |
| After pitching "Joss Whedon's Buffy Babies," Joss found himself rooming with Aaron Sorkin at Betty Ford. —Orrin |
| OK, the first film was disappointing. But you wouldn?t believe some of the wild surprises Spielberg?s got planned for AI-2. —SlipNot |
| These Cthonic gods of predation just get sneakier and sneakier, don't they? —anon (who KNOWS a Cthonic god of predation when he sees one) |
| Jim Henson's Moulin Rouge Babies —k.a |
| "I spy, with my little eye, something that is - TARGET AQUIRED, COMMENCING DESTRUCTION." —anon |
| Edvard Munch's 'The Cute' —Mr. ? |
| My god... it's full of mascara! —The Mighty Cheops |
| Failed Christmas Toy #5423: "Baby Piercing Gaze": Her eyes double as nightlights, with a motion-detector that will follow your child around the room. Naps when your child is gone; opens her eyes again at the stroke of midnight! —The Mighty Cheops |
| "Yeah, here's some pictures of my little girl- aw, shit, I had the filter set on 'whore'." —The Mighty Cheops (by way of Simpsons) |
| Someday, she will rule the Christian Airwaves. Or Country Western. Or both. —deadcoil (looks like MY daughter) |
| The first prototype for the Antichrist was rejected by Satan on the grounds that it was just a little TOO evil. —Jack of None |
| No matter how carefully you phrase your wish for eternal youth, the Monkey's Paw WILL find a way to fuck you over. —zwit |
| The judges eventually awarded the prize to the runner-up, since nobody could figure out where to put the tiara. —Torc. |
| Mommy mommy! I want a Tammy Faye Buddy! —ava1anche |
| She had come a long way since the Little Miss Zygote fetal pageant, there was no way she could fail now! —cip |
| And with that, H.R. Geiger awoke, bolt-upright and chilled to the bone. —Bosch |
| "Young lady, that's the fifth judge you've wished into the corn field. You'll just have to accept your 8.9 for poise and move on." —Under an Assumed Name |
| Obsessed with preserving her little niece's pretty features, Patsy Ramsey snaps for the second time in her life and administers a big horse-syringe full of botox. —Rasputin |
