"...on second thought, Mom, I think I'd rather try the lobster tank..." —Nyder  |
| Although Ray couldn't afford a full 'borg conversion, his headcannnon made him the envy of all the other gangstas. —Pog! |
| Once again, three stunned zoo patrons and one dead polar bear had learned that the crow was not to be fucked with. —Phat Cheops |
| A cute kid in a sports jacket... an amusing but wise black man... a wisecracking fat lady... fuck me if I don't feel a Joel Schumacher movie coming on right about now... —Nyder |
| As Shirley Hemphill got cozy with Fred Berry, Gary Coleman realizes once again, there's no pussy in his immediate future. —anon |
| The Animal Planet Player's re-enactment of the German blitzkrieg of Poland left a little to be desired, but the live shows experienced some success. —Pog |
| "Eew. I thought they only did that in the woods ..." —Riff |
| "Bring me the one on the left", said Timmy. "He...amuses me." —memo |
| Bear-skimming has become a popular, though dangerous, replacement for Target Bombing on the Crow Xtreme Sport Circuit. —sharper |
| Sadly, only Mike Teevee and Violet Beauregarde showed up for the Willy Wonka reunion. Al Roker's appearance was coincidental. —tie |
| I'm trying to think of captions here that won't result in me being forced to move to Alabama and hang car engines from trees. —Torc. |
| Sure, everybody wants prosthetic foreheads on their real head, but not everyone can pull off the look. —rudy |
| The phrase that best describes this picture is: (a) a dove, a dip, a dyke, a dork; (b) a bird, a nerd, a herd, absurd; (c) a kite, a sprite, a sight, a fright. —me_tew |
| "Hey, be nice to me, woman, or I won't let you sit on my head tonight!" —me_tew |
| Now that's the life... eat fish, sit on your butt all day, stare through the glass, and get fat. Hey, wait a minute... —Weasel |
| The bear is just trying to figure out whether to go "small", "large" or "super-sized". —smj |
| "Where you think the black bears are? They off scavaging food for these lazy-ass white bears." —Torc. |
| "We'll take it. Do you have tartar sauce?" —GeniusLoci |
| I'm telling you, we just walked a mile south, a mile east, and then a mile north. We can't be back where we started. —Ken |
| A peaceful day at the zoo was good, but seeing something white behind bars for once made the day just that much better. —noddin0ff |
| Fame had gone to the Coca-Cola bears' heads. As the ketamine habits grew, the royalty checks shrunk. After being kicked out of Seigfreid and Roy's travelling act for the last time, they realized it was time for a change. Now they've found God and a rewarding, if somewhat mundane, life at the Chicago zoo. —phil |
| All the WORLD seems in TUNE on a SPRING afterNOON when we're POIsoning polar bears in the park, la la.... pass me the bag of kittens, boy! —zwit, salvaging Riff and Tom Lehrer |
