Visiting God at the San Diego Zoo. —anon  |
| Troglodytes at the Car Wash, Gaugin, Oil, 2003. On loan from the Spinnwebe collection. Made possible by a generation donation from the A1-AAA Americaptions Corporation. —smj |
| Yeah, the new commercials are cool, but the new Powerbook is just too fucking big. —smj |
| She remembered "Walk towards the light." She forgot about the Plexiglas, though. —me_tew |
| Those that live in glass houses...need to use the bathroom in the dark. —William Wayne Webb (thanks, MAD) |
| Bring your family to the Toledo Zoo! Come for the Big Bleeding Dead Thing, stay for the Amorphous Glowing Blue Thing! —anon |
| "Huh. 'Metroid exhibit currently undergoing renovation.' Friggin' things are never awake, anyway..." —anon |
| The sad answer to the question, "Whatever happened to Joel Hodgson and Trace Beaulieu?" —Milo Bloom |
| "Yeah, you just keep the hole plugged. We'll be the fuck somewhere else." —Torc. |
| "The Power of Ultraviolet Radiation" exhibit wasn't exactly the best idea the museum had come up with. —Zach the Conqueror (props to Amazing Telephone) |
| All museums of the future will depict today's world like this: a family of 3 paralyzed in front of a glowing television screen. —Zach the Conqueror |
| "I don't know what a button this big will do, but fuck, man, we have to push it!" —James Howard |
| It is very dark. You are likely to be eaten by The Guardian of Forever. —Doctor X |
| Early prototypes of the crystal ball were nine feet wide and required an entire coven to operate. —spinn |
| ?The strange lights in the sky aren?t so bad, and the anal probes, well, I kind of like them, to tell you the truth. But let me tell you, one more mistimed teleportation incident and I?m suing.? —Nyder |
| ?Way I see it, either it?s the Rapture, the CIA or an alien abduction. Either way we?re gonna get fucked up the ass bigtime.? —Nyder |
| A1-AAA AmeriCaptions responds to the marketing division's demands for "more black people in the pictures." —Nyder |
| ?Yeah, yeah, OK, we get the message. All these worlds are ours except Europa, yes, we understand. Now could you tell us which way to the fucking cafeteria already?? —Nyder |
| The nuclear winter exhibit at the museum was so real Scott grew a third leg. —Zach the Conqueror |
| Poltergeist IV: Drew Barrymore's daughter gets pulled into their 114" HDTV. —Platypus |
| Whenever the Jehovah's Witnesses approached the cosmic portal, the disembodied energy beings pretended not to be home. —Norm DePlume |
| Nah, I don't like this one. Switch it back to flying toasters. —ewhac |
| Kim and her companions will soon learn the dangers of breaking surface tension. —Lloyd |
| The unveiling of the first Palm Pilot for Zentraedi. —GeniusLoci |
| Woman-Silhouette074.eps and ManWithChild-Silhouette2.eps all thoroughly enjoyed Clip Art day at the museum. —Hobgobble |
| Ray would forever go down in real-estate lore for selling a 10 square foot parcel in the Chicago Aquarium to a family of three. —Zach the Conqueror |
| "We know the thing you're going to love about this property is the view. Not many apartments in Des Moines look out onto the eerie, silent depths of the Marianas Trench." —Sergei |
| Press the panel to hear Lord Sarnak talk. —Nope |
| Harold didn't know what it was, either, but he knew that everything would be okay as long as he had his cap. —smj |
