European Vacation 2003: The gals' tour of famous museum cafes turns ugly when Marge gets shit-faced on Heineken and Delia realizes she just paid the equivolent of $5 for a small Coke with no ice. —Gorilla Librarian  |
| Jane was impressed. Martha's $5 handjob business really HAD beefed up her forearms! —The Mattwolf (Not too proud 'o this one...) |
| The good news: They extracted greta's arm from Hildegard's ass. The bad news: Her watch is still up there. —rudy |
| 6 on a D20... let's see.... ah yes. "Your dart comically rebounds off the board and skewers the player immediately to your left." —Chris S. |
| "OK, we've decided. Linda, you get us two extra cups of coffee, Wendy, you go smash the patriarchy, and I'll settle the bill." —Nyder |
| "Now, now, Betsy, you know that if you want mama to love you, your outfit has to match mama's outfit. Be thankful I'm even letting you sit at the same table, you wrong-colored bitch." —Rasputin |
| Years later, a smug Melissa Gilbert looks on as her adopted prison bitch gives Alison Arngrim what-for. —Orrin |
| Wow. It's true, Courtney Love *can't* get arrested in this town any more. —Orrin |
| It was sad, but after one beer Aunt Madge always wanted to tussle. —The Vixen |
| Tracey,no! We don't grab asses of people in public! We only grab asses at home. —Entogal |
| "Oh yes, sweetie, snuggle up close to your grammykins. Grammy just love you to death. Ah, yes, and ... uhh ... you. There. I touched you. Enough." —Rasputin |
| "God damn it," thought Cheryl. "Can't we have ONE PTA meeting without Ginger getting tanked and doing her 'Over the Top' Stallone impersonation?" —dALY |
| When she finally recovered in the hospital, Julia had learned a valuable lesson: never ever accuse Priscilla of cheating at arm-wrestling. —haem |
| On the next 'Who wants to Marry a Prison Bitch?' —Mr. ? |
| Look! I make good wife for your son for I be strong like bull! —Mr. ? |
| Thirty years later, Ellie's mother still had to resort to brute force to keep her from sucking her thumb. —haem |
| "Kill Bill Vol. 3: The Bridge-Playing Bitch" —cface2003 |
| The stewardesses thought they would be safe in the flight crew lounge, but Tina's yen for extra pillows knew no bounds. —haem |
| Lisa just couldn't stop with the karaoke, whether she actually had a mic or not. —haem |
| Ok, going right to left: Beck's, Diet Sprite, and Lithium. —Frenzy O'Dikplay |
| She had practiced for weeks. The location was perfect. The training was complete. She was focused and ready. The battlefield, two out of three falls, thumbwrestling. And after everything was said and done, Sue knew it would be Big Mama that had to wear the orange jumpsuit of shame. —Nekotuxie |
| "Ya feel that? That's right, years of masturbation." —Torc. |
| This scene makes a lot more sense if you know this pose represents Error #0A: Please bring your android to a registered support technician —Chris S., stealing wholesale from entogal |
| "Why don't you stop hitting yourself? Why don't you stop hitting yourself? Why don't you stop..." May despised visiting Nan Farcus in the nursing home. Janine, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind so much. —dALY |
| "No, Olga. You cannot marry this one. This one woman. Next!" —Nyder |
| Next on HBO: Sex and the Suburbs. —Nyder |
| "...and then she sneezed, and I was, like, elbow-deep..." —Nyder (salvaging the DFC) |
| "OK, how about this one? Lots of flesh on her, and I guarantee the leftovers will keep for weeks." —Nyder |
| And lo! It was written that from the frumpy amazons of Des Moines would arise a flame-haired she-devil to champion their battle against....stuff. —coffeethrall |
| "Your enthusiasm is promising, my dear, but your form is atrocious. From the beginning, then, shall we?" Housewives flocked from far and wide to seek Myrtle's fisting pointers. —anon |
| I said, "Pull my finger." You just made me crap myself. —Stinky |
| This is legally the closest you can come to teaching sex education in Kansas. —Torc. |
