Tanya was torn. Should she just ignore it, or should she tell Mr Huggles about the piece of cat caught in his jowls? —haem (who adores cats, really)  |
| At that moment, both thought the exact same thing: "new chew toy". —James Howard |
| Hot hung black male, enjoys dinners and long walks in the park, my ass, thought Linda. —Nyder |
| "I'm confident that the addition of a cute, elfin child and a suburban American setting will make The Hound of the Baskervilles a much better story," Mr Spielberg was quoted as saying in a press conference yesterday. —Nyder |
| Part chow, part St. Bernard, All carnivore. —anon |
| A still from the exciting new sequel, Dogs of the Corn. —haem |
| Melissa's parents warned her not to feed it after midnight. —Pob the Dud |
| History books would later refer to this day as the Battle of "You're in my spot". —The Mattwolf |
| His Master's Whore? —Henweigh |
| "Chapter Nine: So You've Turned Your Mother Into a Very Large Dog." -- from Pre-Teen Sorcery for Dummies —Trainman |
| "You just SIT THERE! Every day! Day in, and day out! Why can't you get a JOB, Frank? Why can't you just get a JOB??" —thevideostoreguy |
| It was, without exception, the single most disturbing entry in the "Bongs Across America 2004" competition. But dear Lord could it ever hold weed. —thevideostoreguy |
| Emily's parents had developed a foolproof method of making sure she didn't go out with any boys until she was at least eighteen. —haem |
| Wow... I've seen some weird hybrids before, but half St. Bernard, half buffalo... that's just scary. —chromium |
| And as Clifford kept growing and growing, and the dog food bill kept going up and up, no one ever wondered what happened to all the babysistters. —Mr. ? |
| In a series of new TV commercials for Prozac aimed at the young teen market, the black dog of depression physically manifests in a variety of awkward circumstances. —Stefan Jones |
| Plastic uphostlery covers. Knotty-pine paneling. Unfashionable Newfoundland dog. Martha Stewart's daughter realized that her five years living with Aunt Marlis in Sheyboygan would require many adjustments. —Stefan Jones |
| Shep'H'und, Black Dog with a Dozen Young, fails once more to strike terror in one of her victims. —Stefan Jones |
| Actually, his name is Big Fucking Dog. —anon |
| It would be many years before Andrea could accept her husband coming out of the closet as a Furry, but she had to admit that his costume was damn good. —Stefan Jones |
| Yes, Kim felt a little crowded, but it was better than having her doublewide tip on its side like it did the last time he got up. —rudy |
| Janie and Stephen had argued for months about whether they had termites in the walls or St. Bernards in the floors. Damn, thought Janie, if only Stephen were here to see this now... —me_tew |
| Amanda's mother realized that her daughter was destined to be a makeover-show surgeon when she declared her intention to give Fang a browlift, rhinoplasty, extensive dental reconstruction and a tummy tuck. —haem |
| It was this never-aired underwear commercial that finally got Calvin Klein arrested. —BA |
| "Look, come on. I know your pet ticks are hungry, but I don't have that much blood left!" —Rasputin |
| Ally felt around in the folds of her robe. Pepper spray, pepper spray, c'mon, 'sgotta be here somewhere ... —Rasputin |
| Even more terrifying was the Tattered Sofa of the Baskervilles. —haem |
| 8. Do not store your weredog near silver, raw meat, vampires (pictured above), or in direct sunlight. —haem |
| "Oh, were you not listening? I said, roll that beautiful bean footage. Yes, again." —G'Tron |
| Would you mind going and engulfing someone *else's* universe please? —rudy |
| With the AIDS crisis, Ron Jeremy is forced to wear disguises to keep working. —Torc. |
| "Stop looking at me like that. Everyone has to wear a condom." —zwit |
| Brutus, Light On! click Thank you. click Brutus, Light On! click Thank you. click Light ON! ON! Oh, screw it, I'll buy a clapper. —Fry |
| What's that, girl? Timmy fell down in a well and then you ate him? —Orrin |
| "Are you sure you didn't mean to say 'Sure, Snuffles, I'd LOVE to give you a milkbone'?" —sputnikim |
| "I'm not getting off your hand until you admit the first Lassie was a better actor then Flicka, bitch." —sputnikim |
| Must...stay...awake...or...dog...will...eat...me. Must...stay...awake...or... —the rev |
| "Oh, for Christ's sake, Janie, just give him the damned squeakie toy before he eats your other hand." —dALY |
| "Look, for the last time, I am not in the mood to play 'trapped Swiss mountaineer and rescue worker' tonight. OK?" —Nyder |
| "Okay Bowser, you learned 'fetch' real good. Now let's work on the concept of personal space." —haem |
| Bad news: another "Beethoven" movie. Good news: Cronenberg's writing and directing. —Orrin |
