Tourists are advised not to spend any extra time inside Pleasantville International Airport. Just look straight ahead and walk quickly to the baggage claim or the nearest exit. —anon  |
| Highlights from the 2004 Seniors Musical Chairs Tournament —Ska |
| Unless you have a job, a haircut, and a sex life in that bag I think your game plan is rather wanting. —Under an Assumed Name |
| Oh, hell, I have to figure this out again... Okay, 'shoulderbag on left hip with strap on right shoulder' is 'Dragon Otherkin, into bondage and watersports', and 'plastic bag on right hip with red ribbon' is 'Furry, into yiff piles and feet', right? Damn, I miss the old days when a handkerchief could tell you all you needed to know. —me_tew |
| And lo, God did come down unto the Earth, and he was asked, hast thou anything to declare? —Chris S. |
| Bob here is about to try to sneak more than three times the legal limit of RPG rulebooks through customs. Let's watch. —Chris S. |
| Hey I know talent when I see it, and the dude on the right has "Crazy Radio Station Engineer" written all over him... —Primis |
| Unkempt beard and hair? Check... Untucked striped blue shirt? Check.... Mysterious-looking bag marked "YOUR GAME PLAN"? Check... Boy, airport security will never spot me now!... —Primis |
| Bad News: Gets back from the trade show to discover his employer has gone bankrupt. Good News: The 523 sets of misprinted Star Wars, Chapter III: The Varnishing of the Jedi Pogs he picked up at the LucasGames booth will sell for $194,000 on eBay —Stefan Jones |
| Winner of the 2004 "Best Dressed," Software Industry Trade Show Dweeb Awards —Stefan Jones |
| Don't cry ... don't cry ... Trevor repeated to himself, moustache quivering, as Abner walked into the concourse and out of his life. —Rasputin |
| A scene from Tom Grisham's new thriller: 'The Something' —Mr. ? |
| On the off months, Santa holds a seminar on how to maximize the effectiveness of your holiday. —Mr. ? |
| Bill and his twin brother Doug are each secretly plotting to kill each other as soon as they get home. —anon |
| Visual proof of why makeovers should never be stopped halfway through the process —Entogal |
| After he woke, Rip Van Winkle checked the board. Fortunately for him, Delta flight 1365 was still delayed. —sharper |
| Does this game plan make my ass look big? —Ska |
| A: It's a trick question, they're both serial killers. —James Howard |
| Bad news: This is Gabe and Tycho in real life. Good news: There is no good news. —Orrin |
| With Sauron vanquished, Aragorn enthroned, and evil generally a thing of the past, Gandalf is reduced to mallwalking around Elvenhome, shopping the clearance racks at Egghead and J.C. Penney's. —Rasputin |
| Harry suddenly had a suspicious feeling he was being stalked by Harry 10 years younger who was having a suspicious feeling he was being stalked by Harry 10 years younger who was having a suspicious feeling the man he was stalking was himself 10 years older who was having a suspicious feeling the man he was stalking was himself 10 years older. Of course, he often feels that way. —Fry |
| Erik Bloodaxe: Linux Viking —Nyder |
| Between reindeer maintenance and Mrs Claus' alimony payments, this is what Christmas is going to look like this year. —Nyder |
| The Zimmerman twins work hard to look different. —Bil's Left Nut |
| A geek approacheth. There's an airport Panda Express that's about to see revenues spike. —sharper |
