"Look...no hands, Ma. See where my hands are? Nooo hands on mah sister." —Thosw  |
| September, 2004: The "wave" from a 1987 football game finally reaches Topeka. —Featureless Void |
| Position #265: The Astounded Gerbil. --From The White Trash Kama Sutra. —Nyder |
| Direct to video, Ernest Gets Laid. —anon |
| Mixed metaphore nightmare: After bragging to his buddies at the feed store that he'd make it to second base, Greg unexpectedly scores a premature touchdown. —Westur the Unspeakable |
| Young couples often start out living in whatever house they can afford, no matter how crappy it is. Steve and Karen here have to take turns holding up the ceiling while watching TV. —equivocal |
| "...and now, it's time for shhbssshk..." "Move your arm a little to the right, honey." "...shhhbkshh with your host, Alex Trebek!" "Thanks, hon." —Nyder |
| Curling enthusiasts react to unexpected mainstream coverage. —jupitre |
| When you're too lazy to get up to do the Hokey-Pokey, THAT'S when the government should step in and put you to death. —Frenzy O'Dikplay |
| "Sweetie, really, it doesn't matter how hard you try, Gillian Anderson's not gonna wave back." —haem |
| Well, yeah, the Tractor Pull Channel is a premium channel, but dammit, the finer things in life are worth paying a little more. —me_tew |
| Unfortunately, the throw went wide, and Brandi landed on his ribcage instead. —haem |
| The robbers took everything of value. That's right, both jelly jars. —Torc. |
| "My penis surrenders! Please, whatever you do, not the ORAL interrogation ... please?" Alas, Joannie didn't take the hint. —friday_jones |
| The moral of the story: If you "Whatever!" enough, you might just get stuck that way. —anon |
| Sat on the goddamned cat again, didn't ya, Gomer? —rudy |
| Darla was content. Her shift was over, her favourite soap was on, and it was Jed's turn to hold up the roof. —Nyder |
| Mrs Atlas loved her husband, but wished he wasn't always bringing his work home with him. —Nyder |
| For weeks prior to the concert, Roger practiced daily. When the time came to wave his hands in the air like he just didn't care, he'd be ready. —Featureless Void |
| Your side burns must be at least this long to run for mayor of the trailer park. —Captain Death |
| This has to be a still from an episode of COPS... —Captain Death |
| Arthur's post-blowjob "it's good!" signal always made Mary feel warm and fuzzy inside. —King Catherine the Transvestite |
| In ancient Greek mythology, Athena sprang fully formed from Zeus' brow. In modern trailer park mythology, Emmy Lou started as a skin tab under Skeeters arm, and finished formin' durin' the last half of NASCAR. —squiddy |
| Bubba Guevera in the early days of La Revoluci?n De la Patata Del Sof —squiddy |
| Warning found on a Redneck Rollercoaster - "Please keep your hands and fat underaged bride inside the car at all times. Thx - Management" —The_Vixen |
| Look, man, just take what you want. The money's in the wallet on the nightstand. And don't forget my girlfriend. Please, please take my girlfriend. —sxot |
| When the Fashion Police come for YOU, it really IS best not to resist. —Frenzy O'Dikplay |
| Carrie sighed. "Well, he's bony as a halibut in a famine, but he's all mine. And he's my horrible, jagged, ribby pillow." —thevideostoreguy |
| Thanks guys. I really needed to know that there is Scoobie-Do porn. With Velma and Shaggie. Thanks. —k.a |
| The properly brought up gentleman shows good breeding when visiting a crack house by keeping his hands where his host can see them at all times. Allowing the house crack-whore to fellate him is optional, but smiled upon. Emily Post, millennium edition. —Rasputin |
