Anything to stay out of the cornfield. Anything to stay out of the cornfield. Anything to stay out of the cornfield. —Mikki  |
| PS-182's thrilling production Pocohantas! drew record crowds. They almost had to scootch the music stand over a bit. —AliasN |
| "I'm bored. How much longer til Chuck E. Cheese's?" "Not too much longer, honey, Mommy's just got to introduce whitey to maize, get screwed out of a land deal, then die a horrible, painful death from smallpox." —AliasN |
| Auditions for the musical "Home Schooling" —cip |
| With the hopes of her tribe in her hands, Chenoa loses hope when she completes her Vision Quest and finds her Spirit Guide, Martin —Noddin0ff |
| ...no deal... throw in that bottle of mustard, a virgin, and some arrowheads and I'll give you a Gameboy and a stack of Pokemon cards... —The Green Smear |
| "Congratulations, you are now an honorary member of the tribe. Bear your new name proudly, Throws Like A Girl." —King Catherine the Transvestite |
| "Okay...which one of you fuckers yelled at me to 'take it off' during the Fertility Dance? Come on! I'll get Iroquois on your ass!" —R. Jak |
| It was love at first sight... "Morning Glory" and "Dances with Blowup Dummies" knew they were from a different people, but neither squirt bottle nor plastic chair would keep them apart... —The Green Smear |
| To Peter Jackson: If you add this deleted scene to the Council of Elrond, I will hunt you down, staple you to George Lucas, and toss you both off a cliff. I'm just saying... —Santa Claustrophobia |
| "Yes sir, they did business chiefly by barter. Despite that, no sir, I will not take your son as payment for 'twelve hours of massacre on your Little Big Horn' at the Motel Six." —Rasputin |
| A certain young rugrat in blue / Had hormonal urges beaucoup / Till one fine Osage / All decked out in beige / Said ?Wanna come see my lean-to?? —Rasputin |
| "Laugh all you want, Steve, 1/32 Native American ancestry still gets me enough casino stock to buy and sell your tracksuited ass." —Dubious Merit |
| "All right, kid, one more crack about 'maize-holing' and I'll show you why I brought the squeezable butter." —Dubious Merit |
| Because theatre-in-the-round is the only way to truly experience "Pocahontas". That's why. —smj |
| And there, across the room, their eyes met. The love that followed would devastate whole economies, ruin the reputations of several well-known cardiologists, and cause severe acrimony in the Benton P.S. After-School Club. —Nyder |
| Lina stopped and stared. There he was. A Math Club member. On History Club turf. Tonight, there would be blood. —Nyder |
| "...great moon goddess... mother of all things... and... look, Steve, if you interrupt the sacrifice again you're going to be it... protector of us all..." —Nyder |
| The embarrassing thing was, neither of them could think of what to do after they had declared Mortal Kombat. —Nyder |
| While the community applauded the school's efforts to improve sex education courses for mid-schoolers, in hindsight, the decision to hire Hyapatia Lee as the new instructor was not well received by anyone BUT the fourth graders. —dALY |
| It's a slippery slope. You start accepting corporate donations to cover school budget deficits and pretty soon you have the Land O' Lakes girl teaching gym —noddin0ff |
| Hasbro's My First Dominatrix kit. —Torc. |
| "Protest, my ass. Why don't you just accept the fucking Oscar and stop being such a bitch about it?" —Torc. |
| Welcome to white-guilt week. I'll be your guide. Mr. Peterson will record your anguish for those in detention. —dan |
| And today in Kansas, the state legislature passed a law stating that all text books must state that Native Americans were all actually white, which is why it was so wrong to treat them badly, unlike those brown people pretending to be Indians we have now. —Torc. |
| Stella had to work 80 humiliating hours to pay off her gambling debt. —Torc. |
| Not so much a red skin as a... whoa, you really can't get much whiter than that, can you? —Yakko |
| I'd just gotten through with the rain dance, the war dance, the snake dance, the buffalo dance, the sun dance, the fertility dance, the eagle dance, and the green corn dance, so I guess when he asked me for a lap dance, I lost my head. —Rasputin |
