This whole shy act would be a lot more believable if I didn't know that he was dancing naked on the table top to Abba last night. —Entogal  |
| Not so much 'The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name', as its 'The Love That's Too Hard To Pronounce' —Entogal(squash lover=cucurbitophile) |
| Sex scandals involving British cabinet ministers have now officially gotten out of hand. —Nyder |
| The NAMPLA ad campaign was met with equal parts of hostility and confusion. And one new member, which nearly doubled the organization's size. —Westur the Unspeakable |
| In an alternate reality, an older and sadder Billy Corgan visits the farmer's market. —Westur the Unspeakable |
| Ernie "Gourd-Fucker" Collins decides to accept the consequences of his actions and moves to formally adopt his estranged son. —-+=h_m=+- |
| Having defeated his predecessor in single combat, Steve now took on the sacred mantle of Pumpkinkeeper. Lucky for him, it came in 3XL. —Dubious Merit |
| "Welcome, Mr. Bond... to my organic farm stand lair." —King Catherine the Transvestite |
| The lesser-known "Pumpkin of Sauron" ensnares another hobbit. —fleeb |
| Bakersfield Produce Co-op v. Linus Van Pelt - plaintiff's exhibit 'B'. —Westur the Unspeakable |
| Frank demonstrates how a truck load of feisty, young pumpkins are quickly subdued using the "sleeper" hold. —Henweigh |
| Fine! Then we'll go to a state where Punkin and I can legally marry! —Entogal |
| Mongo love pumpkin! —Mr. ? |
| Charlie Brown was stunned. Why would terrorists kidnap the great pumpkin? —Mr. ? |
| Keep your filthy hands off of Martha! She's MINE, The rest are 62 cents a pound. —someotherguy |
| Him? He's the one who touched you, Punkin? I'll fix HIM. —someotherguy |
| And then we never asked again why Mom's pies smelled like that. —Orrin |
| In Ukrania, a snubbed suitor recieves a pumpkin from the declining prospect. Viktor here displays his favourites. —El Gordo (it's true about the Ukrainian pumpkins) |
| "Don't scream. I'm here to help you. Come on, I'll explain once we're somewhere safe." —Bosch |
| But once company officials saw Trevor's sperm, they conceeded that some of the radiation might have leaked into the water supply. —Torc. |
| And yet, if it was an X-Box, none of you would be looking at him funny. I call that discrimination. —Catcom |
| Blanch it lightly in boiling, salted water, and bring it to me. —Nyder (salvaging Pastor of Muppets again) |
| ...but by November, millions of adopted pumpkins are simply forgotten by their owners. Won't you please help? —Torc. |
| Tom soothed the pumpkin's skittishness over its imminent sale.-- The Gourd Whisperer by Nicholas Evans —El Caballero |
| After a freak pesticide-treated pumpkin incident endowed Brad with special powers?well, not much really changed, except that Brad?s wife left him. —noddin0ff |
| Indicate on the pumpkin where he touched you. —sxot |
| expert from America (the book), p.48 - "Man-on-pumkin sex is an inalienable right and should be taught to children" —Dirtybirdy |
| Peter pervert pets a patch of pretty pumpkins. —The El Der |
| Bad outburst of bursitis at the farmer's market? No problem! Just order our brand new "At-home guide to acupumpkin." Operators are standing by! —Rasputin |
| "SKOOSHY!" - Outtake from the Food Channel's new show, Cookin' for 'tards —Rasputin (thanks, Mr. Conqueror) |
| "Kyle, if you clusterfuck the William Tell reenactment again, you'll leave me no choice but to open up every blade in my Swiss Whup-ass Knife." —Rasputin |
| "They're gonna hatch. They are. They really are. Don't you fucking touch my babies." —zwit |
| One must hold a pumkin gently, but firmly when performing an anal exam. —Ahumado |
| Somewhere, the headless horseman was feeling a noogie. —Mr. ? |
