IADL #1
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 "I still wasn't sure. It seemed like an awful lot of money for a shirt, but she just kept smiling and telling me how it picked up the color of my beard, so I figured 'What the hell...'" --Blake
 Damn, leave it to me to forget to wear a stocking to a holdup. --el Marko
 Sinbad visiting one of his many investments in the 'hood... --anon
 Bonnie thought him to be just another customer until she saw the dangling electrodes poking out from underneath the hat. That's when she stomped the daylights out of the silent alarm. --Monk n Treb
 Fuck!, your damn sons cummed all over the porno mags again! --Big Jim
 It tells them that industrial society is at a crossroads. It tells them that you're not to be trifled with. The Unabomber Shirt, $17.95. --Horselover Fat
 "So they said 'Drop out of school and get your GED...you'll go places' they said"... --Darlin'
 I'll go get the rubbers and beer, you ask the dude behind the counter how to get to Kinky Kandie's Kastle of Kooze!! --Bozo
 I'm a big man, and I need a BIG cereal! --Diggit
 Suddenly it occurred to me that ther was a whole world out there I had never experienced. There were mountains to climb, injustices to be fought, women to be romanced, oceans to sail! And then I just bought another beer. --Greg J
 In this scene from the newly-discovered lost reel of "The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari", the sleeper visits a surreal, nightmare convenience store where nothing is as it seems. Note the Freudian imagery of the word "cigarettes" and the way the counter slopes, pointing directly to the Sleeper's genitals. --zed
 I know he's done been shot; that's why he's lyin' on the gawl-dang floor. Do I look like a fuckin' paramedic to you? Gimme my goddamn smokes, bitch -- I got two baskets o' fries down. --zed
 No, this is not the store they filmed Clerks at! --LORD KAS
 Sure, Jeffy, I'll buy you some beer. Hey, what's with the single nostril? --Paul Roub
 It was then that Floyd, who was just on an ordinary Snapple-restocking call, fell in love with Beula, the girl behind the A plus counter. In the years to come, they would have 47 children, a lovely luxury Mobile home, and all the happiness a couple would want. But still, there was a nagging thought in Floyd's head...still...that echoed to his dying day -- "What if I hadn't quit being a Harvard professor to 'see the world?' What if..." --Toade
 You snap another picture of me, boy, and I'll turn that camera of yours into a proctoscope! Know whut I mean?! --M.Paction
 "Hey! You stop ogling that damn bank machine! I may be just a cash register, but I'm still your wife! Do you hear me?!" --Daniel Jones
 That's right little girl, you pick out any piece of candy you want and then we'll get into my truck and I'll drive you home. Hell, you can even sit on my lap...now you don't think your mommy would mind that, do you? --Willy J. Clinton
 Goddamn it! Four years of college, and I get stuck working here. What was I thinking when I became an English major? --anon
 Hey, Dude!...No dwarves in here! --Roger Mexico
 Hey bill, why do you insist on taking pictures before we rob these mini-marts? --bob
 Really? You don't think this bright orange shirt makes me looks slimmer? Bitch! --GroundFault
 Yeah, I work at the gas station; how can you tell? --GroundFault

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