IADL #105
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 No sir, I'm sorry, we're out of "The Anal Intruder". But "The Big Bad Butt Plug" has a very similar design. --Hap Hazzard
 Let's see, that's 12 5-gallon gas cans and 24 sacks of fertilizer. Will there be anything else? --Hap Hazzard
 Maybe I'll shrink-wrap my weiner again...Dang , I'm bored! --Doc Evil
 oooh yaaah baby, work it, yah, squat down under the counter now, yah, take it all, ooohh --Hiiia Ranna Mooorbii
 zzz...Oh, Mr. Walton...zzz...Ooooh...Kick me in th' but with yer one foot again, Mr. Lower Prices Smiley Face!!! zzz... --Doc Evil
 Now that's what I call dedication! He's got 4 bullet holes in his chest and he still manages to keep his area neat and clean. --Don Spudleone
 Mary was always perplexed as to why the customers kept calling her "young man". --Rev. Jason N Whitmore
 Bev always began to pout when Melissa Etheridge songs came on over the Muzak --Rev. Jason N Whitmore
 Geraldo thought, you know, it probably wasn't such a great idea to do that Capone's vault show.... --Don Spudleone
 Paul tried to pretend not to notice, but out of the corner of his eye he could see the large white envelope creeping closer... --anon
 Rico pouts after the manager forces him to let the kids play Ninetendo for a while. --Sparky
 So tell me again...how are these bullets gonna help you play a joke on your friends at the post office? --Sparky
 Mr. Edwards says that if I don't fuck up I can start drilling bowling balls next week. --The Most Rev.HolyOley
 I'm not even supposed to be here today! --Well
 Is it hard to sleep standing up like that? --Sue Graver
 I'm sorry, sir, my strict Christain upbringing will not allow me to sell you this Playboy. But the .45, the hollow point bullets, and the pound of veal comes to $139.99. --alanon
 And now, another thrilling episode of "Life in the Service Sector." --Thomas Wilde
 "Yeah, laugh now, nutsacks...I'll be your manager after you graduate! Ha, ha, ha! Isn't that fuckin' hilarious? --Thomas Wilde
 Yeah, I may seem like a loser to you, but I got the tools, I got the skills, and dammit, I'm not wearing pants!! So there. --Riff
 Hussein has come a long way since his days at Seven-Eleven. --The Lawyer
 Now this is what I call a sex shop!!! Look at all those IUDs in that cabinet! --Don Spudleone
 Rico......suave...... --Don Spudleone
 Hello, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Mey I scowl at you with disdain? --Der enthauptete Hanswurst
 The little sign is god... I must do what the little sign says... yes... god... I must... --The Sandman
 The "Do-it-Yourself Vasectomy" section of the local Target wasn't doing as well as people expected. --Emil Blovin
 Paul knew he had to guard the electrical cords, but he never found out why. --Emil Blovin
 So, three boxes of 12 gauge shells, a large order of worms, and some caffeine free deer calls? Here, let me ring that up on my ill-proportioned cash-register. --Skywise
 God I'm bored ... Wouldn't it be great if we got held up today? --anon
 Ahmed pursued his own brand of jihad by smearing the loose Duracell AAs with earwax. --Ngoc van Trimble
 "Greetings, mortal! I am Ali, the Appliance Genie! By rubbing the side 3 times you have released me from my imprisonment within the cash regester! I have the power to grant you three power tools of your choice!" --anon
 Ronald CashRegisterTorso always envied the Hollywood success of his cousin Edward --Riff
 Proof-positive that the "War on Drugs" campaign isn't working -- crack counters like this one on every street corner. --Don Spudleone
 Another philosophy major finds his his true calling. --Don Spudleone

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