IADL #142
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 Back when I first got into this, all the other hookers told me it was bad to accept checks.What the fuck did they know? --Noonan68
 "Quack, quack, quack?" "Quack." "Quack quack?" "Quack quack." --Thomas Wilde
 Oh, c'mon, tatooing hardly hurts at all. Look, I'll give myself a quick L-O-V-E on the knuckles to prove it, then we'll pick a nice tribal design for your face, OK? --Wanker
 Yes, that does look infected to me. --anon
 Ok, first you head up 57 and then when you see 14, go west -- that's west -- and keep heading west until the IADL guy runs out of batteries with that digital camera. You'll be safe from the Internet then -- and only then! --Don Spudleone
 With hats like that you should have gotten a free bowl of soup. --Don Spudleone
 No, it's knight to rook-3, not rook to knight-4! Geez, you'll never get in shape to beat Deep Blue! --Don Spudleone
 "Is this your first Geritol Marathon?" --ChoppingBlock
 "You see, the blue line is a river, the brown line is that dirt road, and....Oh, Christ, mom! It's the backyard. Certainly you can find your way to the downstairs bathroom. --Trav'ler
 The purse in her lap is not the colostomy bag, it's the friggin' big piece of plastic behind her. And it should be big enough to hold the shit-bag captions that don't get accepted . . . . --phonsux
 And so, the woman who invented time travel learned that her future held not a presidency at MIT, but afternoons of pet grooming and watching "her stories." --Bill
 "My life line is short, you say? Okay, I'll lengthen it with this X-acto knife." --nice personality
 "Then, while I distract the counselors, you sneak in the back door of the boys' cabin and steal their jock straps! This is the best summer camp ever!" --nice personality
 "Say, would you like to take a free personality test? You would? Good!...now let's get started..." --nice personality
 "See Dolly, it's this clause right here that gives Bil Keene the right to use your childhood likeness in perptuity". --who said that?
 "The wosrt thing about safari is the dredful flies . . . they're just everywhere!" "Well, yes, the schvarzas can be annoying too." --phonsux
 Huh....according to this, you're already dead. --Colin
 'Better cross my legs,' Edna thought, 'wouldn't want anyone to see my little nasties' --Colin
 Our pants DO match....what a dear little coincidence. --Colin
 These are my prices, Grandma, take 'em or leave 'em. --Colin
 This picture has been airbrushed! No way is that woman's leg so devoid of vercoise veins! --Colin
 Snow White and the Evil Queen reunite years later and have a good laugh about their pasts. --Colin
 See, Gramma, that's what our generation calls "bad acid"...and you just used them for postage. --Colin
 All right, ma'am, that's five years of Geriatric Campers Monthly for only $249.95. Sign right here, please. --The Lawyer
 "Name?" "Mildred Potts" "Age?" "Seventy-three" "Occupation?" "Crack whore" --Heath
 The large duck disguises, unfortunately, did not work. --Emil Blovin
 65 years old. I see. And have you ever worked as a fluffer before? --Goon
 "Gracious, that's some mighty fine field surgery! And no pain killers, you say?" --Shifter

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