IADL #16
(some picture)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

 Oh dear, my son has male pattern baldness and he's only two years old --Rich Coughlan
 You freakin' brat! I should have left you in the car with your little sister! --anon
 Ironically, Rita stood by the bakery not yet aware that she had a "bun in the oven" after last night's drunken grope-fest with her husband's best friend. --anon
 If Boo Boo doesn't stop whining - Momma's gonna throw him in the big ol oven! --anon
 Now, if anyone asks about the huge bulge under mommy's sweater, we tell them I'm pregnant. Understand? Get it right, you little brat. Or you don't eat this week. --Kurt L.
 OK, listen up old bag, here's the deal: either I get a lollipop right freakin' now, or I start pissing all over the floor. --Kurt L.
 Will you quit asking for Pop-Rocks! OK, fine, here you go -- D-R-A-N-O! That spells "Pop Rocks!" Here, have all you want! --Kurt L.
 Hello, young man. I'd like to tell you about something called "Dianetics"... --Capt. phealy
 Stop spinning your head around already. I'll get the damn blueberry muffins! --monkeyhead
 Shooting had just begun when Polansky was forced to flee the country, and scheduling conflicts made it impossible to resume principal photography in Europe. Hence, this still is virtually all that remains of what might have been another modern classic of horror, "Rosemary's Toddler." --Ian Abrams
 Oh God, here comes Thelma and those horrible melon-headed brats of hers. Maybe she won't see me. --Greg J
 "...and if he misbehaves, a good, swift tug on his legs is all it takes." --Blake
 Its was so cute the way junior drooled on the eclairs! --el Marko
 "Here, little boy -- try a fresh-baked almond cookie! Well, actually it's a failed pottery experiment but what the fuck -- you're not MY kid." --ZedForce
 "Rita? Hey, Rita, someone left another kid in with the Kaiser rolls." --ZedForce
 "Aww...Stevie, you've got your father's eyes, but you've got my blurriness." --ZedForce
 First there was a sharp jolt, and then a sustained, low rumble. The store began to shake; bread and pastries toppled from shelves. Shopping carts rolled towards the "day-old" rack as the entire store listed sharply to one side. And all around her, Susan heard the frantic screams of the customers as they slipped on errant cupcakes and cookies -- and beneath that, the usually reassuring hum of the mixers took on an oddly sinister tone. And at that moment, Susan finally realized why she had never felt entirely comfortable in the San Andreas Fault Bakery. --ZedForce
 I can't believe this kid was only $1.89 per pound! --His Imperial Majesty
 Now, sweetie, when the nice man isn't looking, shove those Canolis in your shirt like you did last time. Ok wooby? Mommy will give you a big surprise when we get home! --Toade
 "Generally, the presence of a child with the mother while shopping indicates a single parent who has no one else to care for the child. This type of person will be most receptive to your sales presentation." --The Mobile Home Salesperson's Handbook, page 55. --The Lawyer
 The child was happy to have his pacifier back, in spite of its being caked with hair, mud, and sootikins. --Luk Itup
 Ooh! Pork Rinds! --Cosmo
 Hmm...I can't afford baby food AND doughnuts. What's it gonna be? Doughnuts, definitely doughnuts. --anon
 Oh, this is just a darling cake! It's so lifelike! But where do I stick the candles? --Capt. phealy
 Cigarettes are on aisle 3, sir, thank you for shopping with us today --Jeffrey L Nelson
 "Oh forget it, Joey... We'll never find that damned Bakery..." --The Sandman

Back to the IADL Archive index
Back to It's A Dysfunctional Life