IADL #17
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 I can't believe this crappy store doesn't carry "Quantum Physics Quarterly"! --anon
 Jadzia Dax was upset because she couldn't find "PlayTrill." --Cosmo
 scanning the rack for the new "posture today". --jason
 Man, when they tape the models breasts on Cosmo, they look great. I just get a bad rash. --monkeyhead
 While the armed robber attempted to decide between Newsweek and U.S. News & World Report, police arrived and made an arrest. --Greg J
 Regina looked forward to reading her favorite magazine, "No Ass Monthly." --anon
 "Oh, sure. They look good, but them big-boobed, little skinny women never have no personality. No siree. I could steal any one of their men in a heartbeat, if'n I wanted to." --Blake
 Gerta sighed heavily. The July issue of "Mannish Woman", with its Ellen DeGeneres centerfold, still hadn't hit the stands. The new "Glamour" was out, and the new "Redbook" and even the new "Splosh", but the June "Mannish Woman", with its (by now) much-read Bea Arthur profile sat stolidly, resolutely on the magazine rack, as if to symbolize resistance to change. Perhaps it was time to shell out the sixty bucks for a subscription... --Zed Factor Zero
 Hard as it is to believe, Antonio Banderas really has to work at being beautiful. --Zed Factor Zero
 "Ha," thought Lurlene. "I've got no items! I'll get through this line faster than anyone else!" --Zed Factor Zero
 "How Computers are Eroding Your Privacy" These magazines are so paranoid. It's not as if someone's going to take my picture while I'm standing here, put it on the Internet, and have people ridicule me! --His Imperial Majesty
 After his release from prison, Hector went immediately to purchase the item he missed the most while inside: Mentos. --The Lawyer
 Unnaccepted Mentos commercial #34: The Shoplifter. --The Lawyer
 Jane had made up her mind: the lady in front of her had more than 10 items, and, therefore, must die. --Justice o' Piece
 With Bob Lee waiting out in the car, looking for an excuse to kick her ass, Waylene knew she'd have to use the express checkout and so was having trouble deciding which 10 of the 100's of tabloids she would buy. --splatt
 Despite budget cuts, the library was able to provide partial service by combining with the local 7-11. --Capt. phealy
 Wait, women are supposed to have breasts? --Jeffrey L Nelson
 After reading the headline in the Star, Sheila knew that she must buy muffins (with sprinkles) - - - so that when the aliens came she would have a snack to offer them. --wicky dude
 Unable to read the words on the magazine covers, Mary simply stared at the pretty pictures, moments before handing a urine sample to the rather surprised cashier, who had the misfortune of looking very much like one of the nurses at the nearby free clinic. --Paul Roub
 Anthony swore that People would pay dearly for leaving him off their "50 Most Beautiful People" issue. --Capt. phealy
 My goodness! Look at the way that man is looking at me! Disgusting! He just wants to jump on my body, I know it. Wait! Look at that man! He wants me too! Gracious, and that one, and... --SpinnWebe

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