IADL #175
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 "Hey...says here there's a NEW Mexico!" --Big ol' Bob
 Ann Landers' column had Bill alarmed that his kids had told someone about their "secret", that is, until he noticed that the fathers name was "Phil." --GOD
 Beware the coming of Lord Sarnak. What the? This newspaper isn't making any sense! --Don Spudleone
 Let's see what we got in the want ads.....hmmmmm, make money at home sharpening saws. --Don Spudleone
 Geez, this Jumble word "SEROL" is a tuffy... --ChoppingBlock
 Though he hadn't taught journalism in six years, Dr. Shnoog still 'graded' articles. --Heath
 "Hey, where the hell is Bloom County?!? Oh well, at least I still have Calvin and... ...oh, fuck me!!" --Shifter
 Hmmmm... says here my fly's unzipped.... well whaddya know! These darned newspapers know everything! --Bucky
 "Then, on the blackest of all nights when nigh a moonbeam illuminates a single blade of grass, go ye to the forest of no return and mix thyne still-throbbing Eye of Newt with the blood of a Cyclops whilst speaking thy foe's name backwards..." --Crisis
 Let's see....Taurus.....your face will be known to millions....your name will not.....beware those with internet access. --anon
 Hmmm ... my horoscope says I will be bathed in radiation from a nuclear explosion. What nonsense! --Riff
 Wanted: Naive, gullible geek to be taken advantage of and then dropped by heartless corporation! WOW! That's me! --Ratman
 This Keane guy sucks. I could write a funnier caption for this cartoon. --Riff
 In time of trouble, Bill the dork removes his glasses and becomes ... Bill the blind dork. --Riff
 There's a Democratic President?!?! Damn, maybe I ought to pick one of these up more often. --Riff
 "...into Greek and DIY." Cool, my parents are from Greece, and I fix stuff around the house all the time! --His Imperial Majesty
 "GBM?" That must be her initials. --His Imperial Majesty
 Bobby the cockroach awoke one morning from uneasy dreams to find himself transformed in his bed to a giant dork...from The Metamorphasis by S.W. Kafka --nice personality K.
 "Hey- what the...? Rex Morgan gave the wrong prescription to that baby! Someone call the paramedics!" --Aunt Cake
 "It's so hard to follow those squiggly lines with this bus moving around- where did Jeffy go after he looked in the laundry chute?" --Aunt Cake
 Exhausted after a long day of cheating at solitaire, Harold sits down to falsify his daily diary entry... --nice personality
 Heh-heh-heh... That Jim Davis is a fuckin' genius... --Doc Evil
 Wow... How does this Parker guy get such cool photos of Spider-Man? --Doc Evil
 Lets see... Men Seeking Women... Women seeking men... Men seeking Men... Women seeking Women... Ah, here we go: Pot Pourri... --Doc Evil
 This is your brain on chartered accountancy. --anon
 todd read the letter, and was thoroughly confused. it said: gotcha. much love, IADL --kat
 "Oh, Heloise. What don't you have a hint for?" --Jim Ellwanger
 "Lessee...'Supple passion droid seeks stern latex overlord for...' oh, shit, they misspelled 'frottage.'" --The Interrupting Cow
 ... Damn! I can NEVER see those stupid 3-D pictures!! I quit! --trashman
 Hmmm...DWF, 20's, 38C, Pentium Pro MMX, Let's make some .GIFs...sounds promising - I wonder if she's into playing Quake? --Wanker
 Whoa! Settle down ladies! This hunk's taken. Note the ring. --Marlboro
 "Aquarius: You are a pathetic, funny looking loser. You have no friends chiefly because you personality could be likened to that of a bug-zapper. You make babies cry and you still wear underoos." --Marlboro
 p,r,e,s press? Pres...i,d,e,n,t,press dent? prez.. presidnt? President! Yes! okay, v,e,t.. Vet? Vee. Vetoes! okay, next word, S,e,n,a,t,sen? Senn, at, senate? Yeah, Senate! b,i,l...bull?no, bill? yeah, bill! --agm

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