IADL #179
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 "I don't need my Depends Undergarments today," I said. "5 bran muffins and some Olestra chips won't do much to my colon," I said....oooooohhh, God, the pain!!! --Don Spudleone
 As for these things which ye behold, the days will come, in the which there shall not be left one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down... --Uncle Don
 Outtake #14A from the This Old House, the GQ interview. --ChoppingBlock
 When Robert was a boy there was no petroleum bleaching plant next door, just prarie. --ChoppingBlock
 "Oh, Gilligan, I'm home!" -- from What If The Minnow Had Made It? --Heath
 Moments later, the x-ray at the airport checkpoint would irradiate all the PopTarts in Rob Reiner's briefcase. --Heath
 "The Master wants to sue you, but he can't sue you. Only I can sue you..." --DieLifeDie
 No one listens to me like you do, Bridge. --TV's Colin
 The years of preparation behind him, Edgar braced himself, and began the final ascent of the north staircase of 42 Fairlane Avenue. --BretttMaverick
 His career hopelessly in ruin, Pavarotti walks the back lanes singing for coffee money. --Ratman
 Arturo sighed and watched as the gate closed for the final time. He would never slide again, it seemed. --Riff
 Damn. I'm trying to project an image of wistful dismay and solitude, and these IADL bastards will all think I'm using my colostomy bag! --Riff
 o/` "Somewhere over the rainbow ... I'm a god ... women flock to be near me, fighting to touch my rod ..." o/` --Riff
 "Dammit, if Mommy doesn't let me out of this play pen pronto I'm going to be late for my 2:15 meeting with Marketing!" --Shifter
 Gaze not into the outhouse, for the outhouse gazes also. --Anonywuss
 Yeah, you think this pic is boring, but wait 'til he takes HIS shirt off, too. --tv's Spatch
 "If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere, New York, New York", George bodly thought to himself 5 minutes after he arrived in NYC and 5 minutes before he was violently gang raped. --anon
 Leonard Shwitzer left ZZ Top years before the group hit it big. Suddenly, the irony of "Waiting for the Bus All Day" came to him. --Casey Jones
 Perry Mason in color! provided courtesy of the Turner Broadcasting Co. --phonsux
 In his later years, a failed, corpulent Tom Cruise ends his life by jumping from the 23rd floor after finding out he couldn't even get cast as the "Delivery Boy", a two line walk-on for dinner-theater in Des Moines. --Jason D. Sinclair
 "Little does Bob know, but we secretly switched his regular briefcase with a timed explosive . . . let's watch!" --asm
 "I'll be really sorry when they get the wall fixed in the girls' gym shower." --The Interrupting Cow
 I'm heading straight for that wall! Ugh! My great mass makes it impossible to stop! Auuurrrrgh! --Marlboro
 Professor Witkin hoped and prayed that "no panties girl who sat in the front row" would return to school for one more year of his classes. --almost cool
 Mr. Hopkins felt the effects of some crass student secretly replacing his morning pipe tobacco with a nickel bag of premium ganja. --almost cool
 Unaware that the photographer had followed him, Judge Williams entered the domanatrix's dungeon as he did every Friday, where he paid Mistress Diana $400 to tie him up and whip him for an hour. --anon
 As God is my witness! I shall never be hungry again!!! --Marlboro
 Wilhelm gazed across the quay as the boat slid majestically away across the waves. Soon the bomb would explode, and all of the world would know his name. Or they would, if he hadn't forgotten to plant it, and wasn't holding onto it this very minute, --BretttMaverick

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