IADL #220
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 Uh, pardon me, ma'am... Doc Evil has asked me to bathe you and bring you to him, so if you'll just step this way... --You-Know-Who...
 "Hi! My name's Pat! Have a beer! Ok, so much for small talk, are those things real?" --Tillman
 "Hey! Lay off my hair plugs! You got more plastic than a Honda Accord, Miss Natural!" --Tillman
 "After this beer we better head on over the clinic...your left tit looks about quart low." --Tillman
 Excuse me miss, you'll have to step out of the way, we're trying to shoot an "Old People and Horses" photo. Man, that's gonna be funny. --BretttMaverick
 Years later, Pete would relate this incident in his autobiography: "So, then I said to her, "Whoa, I'm tripping my nutsack into a frenzy of dik play", you know, because it sounded like something funny. But she just started walking in the other direction, and I never saw her again. DAMN YOU, SPINNWEBE!" --Heath
 "Dancing? Naw, I have two left feet. No, really." --Heath
 He calls her "Honey Bunch," she calls him "Stalker." --The Most Rev. HolyOley
 Maybe Keane actually does give Thel both breasts, but it's Spinnwebe that creates the random mastectomy. --phonsux
 So that's where she went after she left my place this morning. --The Lawyer
 "I told you, you freak- I wouldn't do ANYTHING with you for a Klondike bar! Now fuck off!" --Crazy Pickle Dog
 Hey, baby, how about a pizza and a fuck? Hey - wait! Where ya goin'? Don't ya like pizza?! --Evil Ed
 Sensing danger from the female's now blackend arm, the male Chicago Spotted Loser produces a snake from one of its limbs and prepares to strike... --Jamey "Crisis" Powell
 The TV ad we'll never see: "Personally, I've never really cared for Mentos." --Heath
 "See? I told you he was married. This fraternity initiation thing just isn't working. And besides, these heels are killing my ankles." --Dr No
 Somehow, Chuck just isn't as sexy without his sailor suit ... --Riff
 "And he goes for a left round-house to the chin." --sINad
 And on this week's "Seinfeld," George dates yet another woman who wouldn't deign to talk to him in real life. --Bill
 "No, I'm serious. You, a midget on a bike, and my sister. 50 bucks." --anon
 "Gosh, Babette! Your new tits, my new hair...let's drink to life in the 90's!" --Tillman
 Classic examples of urban primate courtship behaviour: the "hair flip" and the "beverage offering." --Ngoc van Trimble
 C'mon, hon. He's wearing a blue shirt with tan shorts. He's not right for you. What you need is the intellectual indoor type who doesn't wear clothes . . . . --phonsux
 Spinnwebe scores some serious leg and keyboards across the nation are covered with towels or saranwrap for the short span of a few moments . . . and then the typing resumes. --phonsux
 Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute about the Jehovas Witness? No? How about Scientology? Buddahism? Witchcraft? Anything? Please, I'm so lonely... --Tony's Dancing Clams
 Come on, it's a lot of fun!! You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out... No, dear, your other left. --Tony's Dancing Clams
 "Sheesh! Here's your FOURTH beer! You hookers can sure put it away!" --Tillman
 A happy park setting. Let's add some lesbians and giant colostomy bags and see what happens next! --Don Spudleone
 On the right, the present....on the left, the past...think about it, won't you? --Jenn Dolari
 Well, Earl, I gotta admit, you make a helluva woman after three beers.... --Jenn Dolari
 Who'd a-thunk it? David Schwimmer porks up, finds God, and starts handing out Tony Alamo leaflets on the sidewalk. Sad, truly sad. --phil
 Yer prettier'n my sister! Kin I touch your boobies? --Evil Ed
 Try new Cuppa Sperm, ma'am? It's all natural. --Evil Ed

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