IADL #233
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 "I'm leaving you losers. You can't bet, you can't dress nice, hell! You can't even do exercises properly!" --RipperJak
 "Hi, I'm your new kid. Got any beer?" --RipperJak (It was late, and I was tired)
 Mommy? Can I have $3000 to put down on Surefoot Sue, in the sixth? --Ralph
 As the blood splattered on Mark from the still-standing bodies of Deborah and Brent who were instantly decapitated by the spinning rear axle, he quickly calculated his net insurance income. --NME
 Mommy, I'm gonna go talk to my friend Aqualung. Okay? --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 The tiny Ross Perot animatron surveyed the young couple thoroughly: "Yes," he thought, "These will do nicely." Spectators nearby turned in horror as they heard the giant sucking sound... --the Artist Formerly Known as the Prince of Darkness
 Bilbo Baggins greets guest at his Beverly Hills housewarming bash. --anon
 "I said kneel to Zog, infidel! Not do pushups. Kneel! --RipperJak
 Dang! There's gotta be - oh - 57 flabby white thighs out here. --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 The crowd cheers wildly as the Yanni concert reaches its climax. --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 The father had learned from the child: life was, indeed, more relaxing with diapers. --phil
 "Hello there! I'm Steve! I'm a Amway distributor, and I'd like to share my story with you! Got an hour or two?" --Tillman
 I claim this man for Spain. --Don Spudleone
 Hi, I'm divorcing my parents--can I come live with you? --Colin
 See the drunk next to mommy? This is your low-life alcoholic desert-his-wife waste-of-human-flesh father! Can you say "hi" to the nice man? --anon
 "Dear, I think you should ask those missionaries to leave. They're frightening Anthony." --phonsux
 One pull-up, Dad, just one. Geez, you're pathetic! --Werehasmter
 Paul... wake up. That weird little kid's back again, and he's eyein' up YOUR lower legs this time.... Paul? Paul! --The Rogue
 For th' luvva God, Dad... Zip your fly! --Doc Evil
 Tidal wave spectators... God's delicate way of weeding out the stupid. --Doc Evil
 As his father's lifeless body twitched slightly on the scorched blanket, the boy put his hands back in his pockets and made the same statement to his mother. He was Toby, Devourer of Souls, and it was time for another ice cream cone. --Jizmo the Wonder Horse
 Satan, the missus, and little Beelzebub Jr. enjoying a picnic at the park. --TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!
 See, at first I thought this was a nice, wholesome family scene. But then I saw the goldfish school jumping out of the grass, and I knew it was just another of my hallucinations. Damn them. --witchiepoo
 Oh, great, he found his way back. Next time put a brick around his neck and throw him in the lake, okay? --phil
 Hey, chickie, who's the loser? You ready to step up to a little toddler lovin'? --phil
 The chain in the foreground told the tragic tale -- the Webbers had picked the exact wrong seat at the tractor pull. --phil

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