IADL #24
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 Young Billy smiled to himself. He was glad Mommy bought the GOOD paper towels. Cleaning up Daddy's vomit would be much easier. --G.Canyon
 Oh dear! Chemlawn has sprayed the dairy aisle! --Bill Fortier
 Bobby was tense. Two rolls of towels. So far. Was it the start of another manic episode? Would Mom buy forty-three spatulas and twenty pounds of KY jelly? Again? --Mister Sinister
 Shortly after squeezing the Charmin, Mr. Whipple suddenly appeared and beat the living shit out of Carol. --The Most Reverend Holy Oley
 Says it handles the largest of leaks. Like hell it does. Even on my heaviest days I could always count on Brawny. --Monk n Treb
 One for kitchen. One for cleavage. --Monk n Treb
 Now a lotta of people will use rags, but I find paper towels more flammable than an oily rag in my Molotov. --Monk n Treb
 I, for one, am pleased to see that there wasn't even the slightest need for "jumbo tampons" to appear on the impossible list. --zed o' the wilderness
 Mary Durnsautch-Fester, America's foremost Amateur Consumer Products Tester, prepares to pit Mardi Gras ® paper towels against new Quik-Dri® paper towels. She will cover herself in chocolate pudding and roll around on a representative sample of each towel brand, testing the absorbency of each. Oddly enough, all of her product tests somehow involve covering her body in chocolate pudding. --zed o' the wilderness
 Remember, Junior, a box of saran wrap is cheaper and lasts longer than a box of latex... *That's* why mommy is such a smart shopper! --Cosmo
 He may have looked sweet and innocent, but "Babyface" Johnson was about to strike his most unsuspecting target yet... "Mom." --Cosmo
 No, Tommy, we don't need any cheese, we'll just scrape some off from mommy's secret spot later. --Cosmo
 Susan made sure she had enough paper towels for "Gang-Bang Tuesday." --Cosmo
 Keen, Mom. With two different brands of paper towels in the house, we'll be the envy of the neighborhood. --The Lawyer
 Ummm, Cattle brand yogurt, with real chunks of beef! --el Marko
 Billy Jean King uses her patented forhand smash to slap the paper towels into her cart. "Let's see Riggs do that," she thinks to herself. --The Sandman
 Mary chokes back the bile of resentment as she realizes that no matter how many paper towels she buys, it'll never be enough to dry all the tears of frustration and broken dreams. Unless, of course, Jimmy stops peeing on the floor... --SwingFace
 Gerta was busy comparing paper-towel brands, and was therefore taken by surprise when the small Puerto-Rican boy approached her, hawking watches that had clearly been removed from boxes of "Cap'n Crunch". --zeod
 So you see, Timmy, you start out yogurt sized, but with the correct stimulus, the blood gorges your organ to the size of this paper towel roll. --Capt. phealy
 Hmmmmm. . . ."not to be taken anally." We'll see about THAT! --Don Spudleone
 I don't think one box of Jell-O is going to be enough for tonight's party. --Don Spudleone
 Oh, yes, my pretties, you will drink spills soon. Very soon. --Der Tanzer
 Even as a young boy, David loved to cause mischief. He loved to walk around the grocery store just bothering people for his own amusement. Usually, like in this picture, evryone would just ignore him. Little did they know, however, that he would one day be The Most Powerful Man In American Broadcasting. --Der Tanzer

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