IADL #246

 The magic was gone. Dry humping Wendy in the supermarket just wasn't as much fun as it used to be. Sigh... --For The Prevention Of Disease
 A scene from Fox's new series "When Ennui and Apathy Attacks" --RipperJak
 Frankly, I think they could've done without their 15 minutes of fame. --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 "Yes, that _is_ out future up ahead, Tammi. And it's pretty fucking bleak." --The Interrupting Cow
 "Is he really a foot taller than her, or is the perspective just making him look larger in a two-dimensional picture?" -Middle Class Math Book --Versace
 "Slowly, slowly," Floyd thought, "just slide the frog into her purse. Heh, heh, heh." --Kermit's Shame
 ...and the one day when this lady met this fellow, and they knew it was much more than a hunch... --R.J.M.
 His new woman-shaped hand puppet helped Phil erase some of the shame that was his lonely and angst-filled life. Not a lot. But some. --Thomas Wilde
 Don't look at the girl, maintain continence ... don't look at the girl, maintain continence ... --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 The newest entry on alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bra.straps... --Tillman
 uhg....grok need gum...mommy get grok gum.... --Jenn Dolari
 Bill was getting frustrated. Each time he fired his nostril-mounted death ray, Tina would invariably bend over to pick something up. Could she possibly know what his intentions were...? --Jamey "Quacky" Powell
 The Italian government, strapped for cash, has taken to renting out retail space in historic monuments. Shown here: American tourists visiting the Leaning Tower of Rite-Aid. --NaToth
 "Well, i would move, but you're standing on my hand." --Ed the Draconian Boss
 Too embarrassed to visit an emergency room, Mark's hand was lodged in Amy's rectum for the rest of the weekend. --Ed the Draconian Boss
 Julie and Steve stared mindlessly into the void of tabloid mundanity, blissfully ignorant of the planar dimensional disturbance opening next to them. --Ed the Draconian Boss
 a still from the drugstore scene of the new movie "Natural Born Dorks" --Waldo
 Frank waited "in line" for half an hour before he realized he was standing behind the clerk. --Thany
 The trademark 'Plen-T-Pak' only served to remind Gus of his ... inadequacies. --Heath
 They didn't understand what was taking so long -- the hold-up note had been written in Pakistani. Of course, this meant nothing to their clerk, Gomez... --phil
 Guess they do their clothes shopping here too, eh? --Bucky
 "Excuse me, ma'am. I couldn't help but notice the purple dial pole rammed into your ass. I happen to have a Wrigley's display slamming into my rectum. These part-time, mobile advert jobs a real bitch, aren't they?" --helen keller, But At Least The Checks Clear
 "Tonight on low-budget X-Men Theater: Dazzler and Cyclops tackle the Juggernaut as he tries to smuggle ten items through the eight items lane." --helen keller, Big Savings, Lower Prices
 "We're remaking Drugstore Cowboy for the 1990's! Check out our high-concept: Chip from 'My Three Sons' does crack with What's-Her-Name from the new 'Sabrina' series. I can here the cash registers ringing now!!" --Cut, print it. helen keller
 Moments before Brenda snapped and stuffed a Playtex tampon up her husband's whistling left nostril... --Tillman
 Hey Edna - do you ever get the feeling we're reluctantly being watched? --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 The new crimefighting sensation, Slutty and Nerdy , two cops who play by their own rules. Premieres this Wednesday on NBC. --alanon
 "Welcome to Hell. Please take a number." --Big ol' Bob
 Coming this fall to ABC- "Mohoney and Schwatz: Shopping Cops". --Geoduck
 Ten bucks says shewas a cheerleader back in high school, and he was an A.V. geek! --Doc Evil
 Blank stares, slack posture... I guess the animated dead do have to go shopping sometimes. --macb3th
 Once again, IADL captioneers are forced to make the tough decision between captions about gum and captions about anal sex. --Jizmo the Wonder Horse
 Suburban accountant lane: Twelve minority friends or less. --Jizmo the Wonder Horse
 How embarassing. You casually follow some cute girl around Walmart without even realizing you just walked into the yeast infection medicine aisle. --Tony's Dancing Clams
 Dana at first thought it was the air-conditioner. Much to her horror, it was the breeze from the nerd's right nostril... --Tillman
 Denise Crosby and her "bodyguard" Sidney eventually realized no one recognized her any more. --Vathek
 How NOT to star-stalk. --Mr. buzzy
 In Dubuque, the hot new fad is waiting for one-hour film processing. --Sneezemaster
 One of Ted Turner's eviller projects was the colorized, letter-box version of "Clerks." --One for the money
 John, ever thankful for Whores-To-Go, still dislikes waiting in the check-out line with his purchase. --SPANK
 The World's Two Least Interesting People exhibit needs your help. A small pledge will support the care and feeding of...oh fuck it. Just send us a .357 and 2 bullets. --Stealth
 Dudley adopts a deceptively submissive posture when approaching his wedgie victims. --Ngoc van Trimble