IADL #248
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 Okay, this is it. Proof that there IS a point at which things cannot get any worse. --Magus
 "Degenerative skin disease, eh? Is it contagious?" --RipperJak
 "Honestly, Irma. Do you think I'm too young for you?" --RipperJak
 "Mmmm. Something smells stinky. <snif> <snif> Oh, must be that rotting corpse next to me." --RipperJak
 I know you can pose 'em and dress 'em up in festive sweaters, but it doesn't change the fact that Mannequins from Beyond the Grave, Inc. has a product that really, really bothers me. --Bucky
 Oh, this is wrong. Like Lovecraft-level wrong. --The Interrupting Cow
 By the time Grandma Phoebe got her left hand to her right elbow, the macarena was over, and they'd gone on to the Tush Push. "My kind of dance!" thought Mark, as he prepared to ask Harold onto the dance floor. --Stealth
 The inevitable sequel, Weekend at Miss Daisy's. --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 "Honestly, Mildred. Isn't it time you broke down and used some friggin' SPF 40 sunscreen?!?" --RipperJak
 Chuck was in a quandry...How could he ditch his mom and meet that hunk at the capucino counter? --Tillman
 As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see your future...I see you contracting leprosy from a fortune teller... --agm
 The Crypt-Keeper on vacation with his significant other. --Werehamster
 Gee, Grandma, I never knew that you were a Yakuza. --Werehamster
 Some women carry a stun gun, some women carry mace...Sun-Li carried the Monkey-claw-death-grip. --R.J.M.
 No Fear? I'm sorry, but between the dead lady and the naked guy I'm VERY afraid. --Riff
 Check out these biceps! I tell ya' sonny, yer granny could take out that Holyfield punk with one punch! --Riff
 Mark, foreground, is deciding what is more repulsive: Grandma's spider veins or Phil's fleshy backside. I'd call it a toss-up myself. --Riff
 ...and i got the tattoo of a an imperialist american dog while i was on a drunken binge in laos....boy those were the days. --Waldo
 Tom Clancy getting material "from the horse's mouth" for his new novel, Jedi!. --Agent Todd
 Wasn't this an episode of "The Nanny"? --Emil "my dirty little pleasure" Blovin
 I'm 25 and still got my looks! All that crap they say against heroin is just propaganda ! --not elsie
 Fear? I fear a lot. I fear that woman's hat. I fear that that guy's shorts will fall of. Oh, believe me, I know fear. --Medea (gettin' married on 10/18!)
 In an attempt to improve their image, the living dead took to wearing goofy, brightly-colored hats. It didn't help. --Geoduck
 "That guy over here at counter...? I think that's - don't look at him! - that's the guy that gave me this Indian burn here on my arm last week..." --Boner Cunningham
 In her old age, Edna often forgot which finger was used to flip someone off. --Thany
 "...And then right here is where the bullet came out and struck Governor Connally in the shoulder..." --John Fitzgerald Conspiracy
 "I want you to get him for me," the old woman wheezed at Alvin, "and I want you to get him for me now." Alvin knew better than to ask what sort of perverted games the old lady had in mind once her quarry was captured... --Generik
 "Billy! What did I tell you about playing in nuclear reactor cores?!" --Jamey "Quacky" Powell
 Man! That flesh-eatring virus just keeps getting worse, eh Tiffany? --Riff
 This week, watch the wackiness as we take the World's Wackiest Corpse to Palm Beach! --Skywise
 Dead Chicks Can't Slump. --Skywise
 "No, really. I prefer your black cowl to that stupid straw hat, my Emporer." --RipperJak
 Bill thought twice about stealing her purse when she started popping gang signs. --anon
 Although his t-shirt read "FEAR NO BUTTCRACK" Jake was actually scared shitless. --Tony's Dancing Clams
 Yes...this is exactly how I imagined Hell. --Heath
 Oh my God, shes dead! I wonder if I should tell anyone, or if I should just discreetly take that fabulous hat? --alanon
 Strom Thurmond parties down at the county fair. --anon
 "Andew, get your eyes of that man's hinder or the Lord's wrath will smite thee again." --Ed the Draconian Boss
 I think it can be safely said that either A) This kid needs to take a twelve step program to curb that drug-induced skin thing, bad, or B) I need to take a twelve step program to curb these creepy drug-induced zombie hallucinations, bad. --Jamey "Quacky" Powell
 "Great Krypton! My X-ray vision reveals that the poor woman is six months along with her brain tumor and Richard Gere does have a gerbil up his ass!" --it's a bird, it's a plane, it's helen keller!
 Aunt Mabel was checking for her arterial pulse. It was then that she knew her heart had really stopped for good. --The Unmasked Revenger
 "...and then Space Ghost pushed this power bands...like this...and blew Zoraak out of the sky..." --The Unmasked Revenger
 "The food is bad. The weather stinks. The people of this civilization won't give themselves up too easily. Dammit, Davros, I can't take you anywhere without you bitching, can I?" --tv's Spatch
 You may want to rethink your slogan on that t-shirt after seeing whatever is under that hat, fella. --Colin
 The new feature of "Highlights" magazine: Find the Corpse. --Colin
 No, I meant what else did you do today besides spreading evil and contagion upon the world? --Colin
 As he watched the harmful UV rays turn his young bride's skin to leather, Oscar discovered a new understanding of the ozone hole. --The Lawyer
 Larry realizes that as much fun as necrophilia is, he just can't quit staring at guys' butts. --TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!

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