IADL #254
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 I'm crushing my eyeball! Crush! Crush! --Namgubed (this is getting old) the Merry Elf
 Well, me an' Sloppy Joe got married, we got six kids and we're doin' just fine ... --NME
 You want flies with that? --The Most Rev. HolyOley
 Chapter seven: How Crab-ette (TM) Brand CrabStitute is made. Tranh here demonstrates the proper method of squeezing the crab by-products until a proper slurry is produced. --James Beard (deceased)
 Internationally recognised gestures: Number one... --Botswana Beast
 "That'll be one order of sesame chicken, two orders of won-tons, five orders. . . Hey! I though I saw the mochi move." --RipperJak
 LaoTzu of Borg. --Don Spudleone
 Hi. Welcome to General Tso's Quiky-Chiken and Crack Lab. Can I take your order? --RipperJak
 Xiao-Bin Feng proudly sports a wound incurred in Tienanmen Square when a .50 caliber round passed through his right eye, exiting harmlessly through his occipital lobe. --Ngoc van Trimble
 "...So I told the plant manager 'Yeah, jerk me off, asshole'. I ended up gettin' a raise! Go figure!" --Generik
 Ok, that a numba five with extra duk sauce, an order of spare ribs, three egg rolls and a kilo of rock cocaine to go. Order numba 21 - redee to pik up! --Riff
 "She love you long time, mistah!" --Ngoc van Trimble
 Life is so much easier with my eye patch! That way the juices and dead skin from my socket doesn't drip into the sandwiches --Colin
 I say, my dear old chap, would you like a burrito as made from vegatables from the Continent? --Colin
 Mr. Peanut's widow and daughter had to scrape by their living at concession stands. --Colin
 Although the wrist snap was impressive, Wu inadvertently embedded the throwing star in his right eye. --Ngoc van Trimble
 Ma! Don't matter how many times you beat him at Scissors/paper/rock, we still gotta pay for the food! --The Libarian from hell
 Being seen with your mother is socially embarassing. It's worse when she out-drinks you and offers to 'punch out any fucker looking funny at her' --The Libarian from hell say's how's your mom Ed?
 Misho's right eye is attacked in Dead Ed Wood's new classic "Plan 9 from the Salad Bar!" --Fuck you, this is funny as Hell....
 I'll just write this one up as a warning, but if you don't improve your job performance, I'll not only put out your other eye, I'll have to fire you. --The Lawyer
 With a special lens on the camera, you can identify the aliens as having a 'cosmic center' behind their eye make-up. --Willie won't go home
 Next up... SuperBurger...No pickles...Coke...Large Fries...and....SHIT! Another Human Eye. Guess I'm goin' home early. --BretttMaverick
 Incoming message from Coruscant - Lord Vader requests an update on the tater tots. --BretttMaverick
 Evil Eye burger, how may I help you? --BretttMaverick
 See, American Capitalistic Dogs? The Chinese Proletariat is happy in their jobs. They wish for the happyness of the state. THEY ENJOY THEIR WORK, FREE OF THE BINDINGS OF REPUBLICANISM. --Jenn Dolari
 Processing cocaine all day can often lead to "the Shakes." --Emil Blovin
 After a freak accident involving a rubber band and some electrical tape, Illumination Woman travels the countryside using her halogen eyeball to protect people from poorly-lit work areas. --Emil Blovin
 The junior high kids knew not to stare at Lunchlady Edna's bionic eye for too long, or else she'd launch lumps of mashed potatoes at your face. --agm
 So That's what they do with the MSG they take out of the food! --Riff
 "Ahhhh, yes. My ocular reveals a minute flaw in this diamond. Pitch this over to the discount pile, Suiza." --Stealth
 As the customer became mesmorized by Kwan-Li's "white eye", she reached in and ripped out his liver...to be fried with onions. --R.J.M.
 Thelma gives her exact opinion on the health inspectors. --RipperJak
 Dang, don't expect Salisbury Steak day with these bad ass cafeteria workers! --RipperJak
 "Hey, kid. More testicles mean more iron, so eat and be happy!" --RipperJak
 "Har, Jim Lad! We'll be needin' extra eggrolls and Beef with green pepper to stave off these scurvy dogs! Har! Kiss the black spot!" --Tillman

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