IADL #27
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 Dammit, Ted! Can't you keep your artificial limbs attached to your arms like they are supposed to be? --a little man from another place
 At first I thought it was the cheese...but the smell turned out to be your feet, dear. --a little man from another place
 I'll take the priest's head. --a little man from another place
 Hey meister, you want 1 dollar suckie-sucky? --a little man from another place
 Most customers could cope with the gentle rolling of the Floating Deli; the head cheese weeded out the marginal ones. --Bill Fortier
 Saturday night at the Defecatin' Deli, where relief is only a swallow away. . . --Capt. phealy
 "Yeah, I'll take half a pound of Venezuelan Beaver Cheese, a jar of Marischino Cherries, 12 groat cakes, two tubs of slaw, and a case of Zantac." --Capt. phealy
 Wow! I didn't know ambrosia had band-aids in it. --Monk n Treb
 No really honey, from down here you can actually hear the mayonaise curdling in the potato saldad... --swingface
 Oh look, honey,one of the cockroaches is waving at me! Isn't he cute!! --swingface
 Twenty-one years old and successful, Darlene still shits herself in public. --anon
 Not one to give up easily, Sally was determined to win the staring contest that the over-confident pasta salad had started. --anon
 Occasionally, Jesus gets bored with ambrosia and comes down to earth for some God-awful deli food. --Der Tanzer
 "Y'know, Food Lion has amazing variety. Lessee, do you want the slightly spoiled ground pork, the slightly spoiled and bleached ground pork, the very spoiled and only slightly bleached ground pork, the rancid yet heavily bleached ground pork, or the rancid-somewhat-bleached-drowned-in-barbecue-sauce-and-garnished-with-orange-slices ground pork?" --Mister Sinister
 Every Buster's Deli was equipped with a speed bag for those punchy customers. --Monk n Treb
 "Yup. That's potato salad, alright." --mcZed
 At Piggly-Wiggly, we cater to every kind of customer -- whether you've spent your entire life in an ethnically narrow, genetically diluted suburb, or were raised by apes in the jungles of Borneo. --mcZed
 "Yeah, I'll have a half pound of macaroni salad, a half-pound of the honey ham, a quarter pound of sliced light American cheese and a half-pound of those little hangy-down American Flag things." --mcZed
 At first, Karen panicked when the DTs came, and with them the nausea -- until she spotted the large sample platter of new Doritos® chunky salsa. --mcZed
 By the time Brian noticed what was going on, Cherise had already eaten six jars of olives. --mcZed
 Creeping forward so as not to alert her prey, Wanda prepared to shove him into the giant square pit. Tonight they would feed. --The Sandman
 Comparitive analysis of gender-based uriniating stratagies. --The Sandman
 John had just punched Marsha in the stomach for picking up the wrong brand of bologna. "That ought to teach her," he thought, unaware that Marsha was just about to bite him on the ass. --The Lawyer

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