IADL #272
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 Bernie Goetz ponders what he would do if he was ever attacked with a screwdriver... --R.J.M.
 Let's see, if x=licks and y=the center of a tootsie pop, then 3x(m/y)^3=y. --alanon
 As the StarWars® figurine worked its way inexorably deeper into his colon, Norbert played it coy. --Ngoc van Trimble
 Bill tried to hide his second mutated head from the girls but it was no use, his original head was enough to scare them away. --SPANK
 This week on 'The Pretender': Jared rides the New York subway to help out an old, blind beggar. --agm
 Hmmm... I like pie! --Doc Evil
 I wonder if they know I don't have any underwear on? --Cabin Boy
 "When I think about you, I touch myself... in fact, I hold myself and lean back with a mystic, pensive look on my face." --Generik
 "...and yes, soon, soon I shall conquer my groin. And after my groin, the world! Mwaahahahahahaha!!" --DieLifeDie
 By god, they're right! I am handsome! --Riff
 How do they cram all that graham? --Riff
 Brent Spiner stars in The Contemplative Commuter - coming soon to a subway near you! --Riff
 "Hmmm? Mashed potatoes or Stove Top Stuffing? DAMMIT! I've GOT to decide!" --Tillman
 Trying to remain calm, Ernie forces himself to stare out the window while he's continuously pelted with zit rocks from the strange man sharing his seat. --LivFre
 The subway is NOT the best place to practice your body contortionist routine, but Roger had to take advantage of every minute he had to prepare for his debut on the local public access channel. --LivFre
 Rick gazes thoughtfully into the distance, hoping to distract attention as he relieves that itching,burnig sensation. --the skyclad answer
 Hiding embarassing erections No 3. The casual approach --Duncan
 To pass the time on long train rides, Pete would shave himself by picking the hairs out one by one. --Thany (ow! ouch! ow!)
 Ooh! There's a cute girl. Oh, please sit with me, please, please -- damn! Oh, another one! Please, please, please, damn! --anon
 "Well, personally, I would have put chintz curtains over the windows and put a nice finial on the end of the "Pull for next stop" handle. --TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!

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