IADL #274
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 The physical standards of the modern American male has become even more unattainable than what women endure. --ChoppingBlock
 My God! It's full of obsenely discounted shoes! --RipperJak (Sorry, Doc!)
 When his Wonder Hearing™ picked up a cry for help, Athlete Man® rushed forth from his Footlocker of Solitude™! --Dr. KNob
 Ok, who chromed Atlas? --Mome Roach
 Wait a minute. Maybe he said to meet him near the big clock! --Truly Tasteless Werehamster
 Hey, even the Terminator needs new shoes once in a while --mutantdog
 Okay I give up...someone out there who understands marketing want to please explain to me how something like this would actually bring in customers? --Dog-matic 2000®
 Andre's dream finally came true...he was a ref at the gay olympics! --WAldo
 ...And now we come to the Liposuction Horrors part of the wax museum... --Pastor of Muppets
 "Hmmmm.... I didn't know that basketball started in Greece...." --anon
 "I will not touch the manniquin's buttocks...I will NOT touch the manniquin's buttocks...I will NOT... aww, the hell with it..." --Tillman
 Jethro failed to realize until it was too late that the reason his store wasn't attracting customers was due not to hard times but to the anatomically correct nude sculpture of Dennis Rodman! --Ratman
 "Hi, I'm Naked Galvanized Man. I just flew in from Cleveland and boy, are my arms tired. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Um, you got any penny loafers in a thirteen?" --helen superhero keller
 "George, don't ignore me. Stop walking away from me! You're ashamed of me because I'm bound in foil two ways, aren't you? Aren't you??" --helen keller
 "What, Lord Shiva? You are in trouble? I must get Robin-Singh from the Orange Julius! To the Hindu Cave!!!" --helen keller, Mistress of International Subtleties
 Goofus android stands naked in a mall, Gallant android wears clothes and has a realistic skin over his synthetic frame. --ChAoS
 Here we see a classic piece of noir film: The referee (representing Judgement and righteous "Blank Angst") stands between the giant granite statue of Spud Webb and the nearly-out-of-frame specter of Death; all in front of the Payless Shoe source entrance, which represents true Freedom. Either that or I'm still fucked up on eggnog. --anon
 Arriving on Earth, Zontar prepares to blend in with the native population. First on the list, a pair of inconspicious shoes.. --Geoduck
 To his horror, Nickolai was about to find out why his favorite superhero was called "The Thing." --Bill
 Looking for fun...felling groovy! --Microman
 That's right, guys. A black man in prison stripes. Drink it up, folks, this is what you've been waiting for. --Ravecavy
 11:30, everybody's gone, time to molest the mannequin. Being a manager at Footlocker is GREAT! --the FUNdamentalist
 "The day statues start to bring worlds in here is the day I leave." --Your name here
 "Don't look... don't look... don't look.... Oops, I looked. My GOD that statue is hung!" --TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!
 The size of professional football players is getting out of control. --twomp
 Luther felt that Foot Locker had gone too far with their strategic use of the mannequin as a tie rack. --Orrin Bloquy

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