"Who, him? Oh, he's another mamby-pamby whiney customer who is all upset over my "No Return" policy. Hey! If you want longer warranty than 24 hours, don't buy jewelery at the airport! Dickhead!" --Tillman
SpinnWebe and its rip-off cousin, LivePics, get the same shot from different angles. --Bucky
"What was all that 'one ring to rule them all' shit? And where did he go?" --The Interrupting Cow
"Sir, that statue of Ganesh is not a toy." --Magus
Oh man! Here comes that Seinfeld writer. I have to give him a "gift" each week or I end up as the "Jewelry Nazi..." --Bill
...as their hands touched, Achmed and Jerome looked away...pondering the morality of their new found feelings... --R.J.M.
Seven hells, it is that Letterman asshole looking for cheap laughs again. --Orrin "Vishnu? Not Much" Bloquy
"Sir, I would appreciate it if you stop fooling with the Cindy Crawford display." --RipperJak
No this is a pawn shop. The custom designated drivers, brand name women, and expert jews are around the corner. --ChRoNuS
While Papa Smurf created a diversion, Sticky Smurf made off with the jewels. --DieLifeDie
"By Allah, it's Saddam Hussein.... and he's in my store!" --TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!
What if they gave a Jihad and nobody had any personal days left......? --TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!
"There goes the handsomest burglar I have ever seen." --Riff
Man, check out the naked metal statue in front of Foot Locker! Daaaaaang... --Doc Evil
"Herschel, you got any shmatas for sale? I only got gold. He wants shmatas." --helen keller
"Achmed, you think the tits on his wife's picture are great? I, for one, do think it is so." --helen keller, A Division of Middle Eastern Piece
"Damn, Rajiv. She's *gotta* be a gymnast." --The Great Cod
"I am sorry, maybe my English not so good I understand your want... I will ask my manager if we have this Rolex cock ring." --Dr. KNob
"My God," thought mild-mannered Rafiq, owner of The Happy Swami's Second Hand Store, "the bank is being robbed! But how to change into my costume and still preserve my secret identity?" --Tapioca Warrior