IADL #277
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 "Oh, fiddlesticks! I don't know what to buy... Lord, show me a sign!" --LadyJ
 Divine goes shopping in something he conciders "conservative." --Jenn Dolari
 A scene from the final episode of Ask Harriet...which airs TOMORROW! Thank god! --Jenn Dolari
 If clothes really _do_ make the man, this chap is headed for a disaster of Biblical proportions. --The Interrupting Cow
 Sideburns poking teasingly through his heavy foundation make-up, Ted's chubby fingers nervously stroked the chemise sweater he so desperately craved!!... --Brickbat
 Not many people look good in red, but Edna wore it to contrast her overwhelming blandness --Dog-matic 2000®
 Turning to the Dark Side, Bertha ignored the heavenly light on the blue blouse behind her. --LadyJ
 Liberace's eternity is spent in a store with NO gold lamé clothing. It must be hell. --LadyJ
 Crap, even K-mart wouldn't blue-lite this potato-sack looking crud. --Kitsunesan
 "CUM HERE I WANNA TOUNGE YOU DY..." What the? Dammit, Charlotte, you missed your cue again! --Bill
 Gene often had trouble deciding between the butch baseball-plaid and the much more Nellie tomato-and-eggplant ensemble. --Generik
 "Well," Ernest thought, "if you're gonna sing like Ethel Merman, you might as well look like Ethel Merman!" --Generik
 These edible? --ChoppingBlock
 All right! These Dallas Cowboys jersees come with a free ounce of cocaine! --agm
 Damnit, why can't Wal-Mart sell crotchless sweat pants? --agm
 "No. No. No. Don't they have anything less dignified?" --DieLifeDie
 As part of his deal with the Feds, Sammy "Da Bull" was permitted a brand new velour sweatsuit every year. --Ngoc van Trimble
 The new Spring fashions have arrived down at Helga's Big Red & Black. --Dr. KNob
 "Fashion Police, ma'am. Pull over. You're being cited for running a red blouse too loudly." --helen keller
 "Mom, can you loan me fifty bucks of my Bat Mitzvah money for something cute and frilly for the homecoming?" --helen keller
 Ernestine often coordinated her color ensemble to match her mood. "Hmmm," she thought, "Shall I go for the hack-em-til-they-vomit-gore red or the bleak-existential-angst-blow-my-brains-out black? Hey -- why not both?" --Stealth
 Oh, Markus always prays for inspiration before selecting which style to try on. --LivFre
 "What? No chaps? What kind of Goodwill is this?" --RipperJak
 Seen here in later life, Violet Beauregard tried to overcome the effects of Wonka's gum, but only went from one shade to another... --Bill
 Claire secretly wonders if her husband Harold will suspect she just fucked the shit out of the metal statue outside of the Foot Locker. --vagabond

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