IADL #278
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 It's the perfect female evening. The males, who have never met, sit in quiet servitude, while the females, who have known each other since the second grade, gabber endlessly for two hours. Welcome to married life boys... --Tillman
 Isn't it cute? All I have to do is even MENTION "feminine hygiene" and they just FREEZE like a rabbit caught in someone's headlights. --Menelik
 Hickory Farms' holiday fruitcake samplers are suitable for framing and display! --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 Another typical night at the upscale sports bar in Iowa...the women swap chicken deboning tips while the guys watch the tractor-pull channel on the UHF feed --Mutantdog
 Oh, c'mon Steph! I'm sure TGI Friday's wouldn't just stick things to their walls for no reason. Gawd, how cynical can you be? --Bill
 "Carmen, your slutbarian takes 15 HP damage from the Light of Purity shining upon your head. George, Frank, time for you to make saving throws vs. paralyzation; fail, and your tongues will continue to hang out and drool. --Stealth
 And when the girls started talking about the third store where they found the most adorable shoes, the boys knew it was time to Scan them. --Bill
 "So I just said to him, 'You're such a pussy! ALL my dates can maintain an erection for sixteen hours!" --helen keller, Er, Check please and may I have a new date, too?
 "Well, Dana, you've got me. I can't for the life of me tell which one of them you lobotomized. Here's your five bucks." --Thany
 Bob thought as he sat quietly during the fix-up, "Must resist urge to squeeze Jeff's thigh. Keep your hands ontop of the table. Keep your hands ontop of the table." --anon
 "Can't we put these two back Sheila? I saw some meatier ones in the other tank." --DieLifeDie
 "Really? Cliff's penis is only three inches long. Isn't that right, honeybunch?" --Orrin "World's Smallest Handcuffs" Bloquy
 Big Dinner is watching you. --DieLifeDie
 "Honey, my yeast infection is so bad, Betty Crocker is taking stock in my -, Ned, Carlos, what's wrong?" --helen keller
 Ok Janie, on three we bolt from these geeks.. --Fugmulch
 Sharon brings her "Big Bob Artificial Friend" to dinner, while Susan prefers the "Sensitive Sam" model. --Fugmulch
 Danny's friends weren't annoyed by the fact that Danny kept reminding them every two minutes that he was The Chosen One, they were annoyed by the glare from that heavenly light that constantly shined down on him. --agm
 The desert tent looked tiny outside, but inside there was spacious seating for four. --Emil Blovin
 Oh Christ, they're talking about how many "Chaos Orbs" they own. I think it's time for a trip to the Lilth Fair, if you get my drift, Gwen... --Bill
 Why yes, Keith, I suppose that lamp does look like an emergency transporter from Star Trek -- Stephanie get me out of here now! -- Bill
 Marie and Julie knew that before they could gossip in front of there dates, they would have to use the "CONE OF SILENCE" --ANT_TOE_KNEE
 At a clandestine meeting of the Anti-Friends, this cell plots the death of... Matthew Perry. --Generik
 The Ouiji board suddenly took on a life of its own, flying from the table and burying itself deep in Mark's neck. Then the shit really hit the fan. --Tapioca Warrior
 When on a Carnival Cruise, be sure to visit "Eddie's Seasick Steakhouse" ... --Riff
 Biff felt a little out of place and underdressed at the Campus Angst Club meeting --Harry Feltersnatch
 GEN X intros....Jennifer..this is Justin, Jeremy and Jason. --Waldo aka Jaldo
 Dollars to donuts says there's a lame acoustic guitarist in a corner doing "folk/rock standards". Where's the tower? Where's the gun? --Anonywuss
 With such improper lighting no one in the group noticed the Gothic Conehead Alien Murderer approaching. --ChoppingBlock
 Alien abductions can happen in the darndest places --Evil Poodle

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