IADL #284

 Tonight on " Whoopi Goldberg Babies "... --Doc Evil
 While her mother wandered through the shoe store for what seemed like hours, young Jessica focused her thoughts on burning a hole through the window with her mind. --Banana Lass
 While her mom looked at the most butt ugly pumps Sara had ever seen, Sara checked out the butt of the cute little asain salesgal and for the first time realized guys ain't everything. --munkiman
 Spike Lee's Bargains in Da Hood was critically acclaimed but a box-office disaster. --Emil Blovin
 This picture brought to you by the ACLU, the NAACP, and this webpage. --Bucky
 Looky, mama, there's a white boy taking our picture. You want I should cut him? --anon
 I don't know about this after-christmas Sal, Mom. He's lookin' at me funny. --Riff
 Oh, great. Now the entire internet community knows we shop at Payless. --Riff
 A computer projection of the appearance of Michael Jackson, Jr, c.2010. Frightening, isn't it? --Riff
 Marcella became increasingly agitated as her mother dawdled in the shoe section. Couldn't she see that the reactor was about to breach? --Dr. KNob
 Little Teniqua waits patiently as her lesbian alien step-mother picks just the right shoes for her upcoming appearance on the Jerry Springer Show. --Waldo
 Scene from the directors cut of Do the Right Thing. When asked, director Spike Lee said "Dancing shoes just didnt fit the vibe." --Azazael
 Suddenly, Yolanda's "Honky Sense" warned her of danger... --Shifter
 Nope .... sorry, sis. Looks like the smallest size this comes in is a 3. We'll have to hit Foot Action for Dwarves on the way home. --Heckler.
 White Liberal Guilt makes it impossible for me to caption this photo. --Emil Blovin
 "Which do you think, Mrs. Butterworth? The taupe pumps or the chocolate suede half-boots? What's that? Yes, my daughter does look a little sulky. Maybe she would like to wait in the car. Maybe she doesn't deserve new school shoes. Maybe I should buy you new school shoes instead. Would you like that, Mrs. Butterworth?" --Maiden Japan
 "Generally speaking she doesn't usually pay full retail for a pair of pumps. She's doing this just to monkey with my head. This is the hell that is my life." --helen keller
 Young Shaqique looked out over the Designer Shoe Warehouse and suddenly realized the true meaning of the phrase 'existential crisis' --Harry Feltersnatch
 "Never saw a mannequin holding a camera before," she thought. --Shem
 Janet was about to lunge at her mother's throat, releasing twelve years of torment in one violent action. That was until she spotted the cute little blue half-heels in her size. --Rev. Jason N Whitmore
 No one noticed big Vinny Carlucci casing the joint, due to his ingenious "ten-year-old black girl" costume. --Big Vinny Carlucci