IADL #285
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 Wow. I think this sets a whole new meaning for 'Power Shopping'. --Magus
 "Who WAS that blurred bargain hunter?" --Magus
 Young Duke Atreides, adorned in his stilsuit, is confronted with a Harkonnen warrior and must reflect on his training...The slow blade penetrates the shield! --Mycroft
 Bobo the halfling encounters his first Air Elemental. --ChAoS
 Oh, sure, laugh. A blur in sneakers is real funny in a photo. But let me tell you, when I saw it first-hand at the mall, I nearly wet myself. --Shifter
 Mommy, Mr. Mephistopheles took my soul! --ChAoS
 Aw, c'mon, Jimmy, take it like a man. Being molested by a midget ghost is just part growing up. --the skyclad answer
 Kevin watched in horror as his father dematerialized his brother Jack for shoplifting a candy bar. --the skyclad answer
 The Jem'Hadar warrior deactivated his stealth cloak and gutted Mr. Withers like a fish. It was the coolest thing Timmy had ever seen. --Geoduck (aka drooling Trekkie-boy)
 "Jeez, Pop! Are you sure that was "Children's Tylenol" you gave me? I'm starting to see through time and space again..." --Tillman
 Check it out! We finally caught "Not Me" on camera! --Riff
 In this example of aura photography, we can see superimposed images of the child reluctantly holding his father's hand, and a manifestation of the child's thoughts - stabbing his father in the leg with a scissor. --Riff
 Go, speed walk-er, go-ooo! --Jamey "General Crisis" Powell
 Another rejected slogan from NIKE: "Whoa! The Colors!" --Timmy's Flat Rotting Colon
 Having found chopping up commandoes in Peruvian jungles to be passe, Predator takes to stealing candy from babies. --Stealth
 "Don't worry, Patrick; it's just a phase. It'll pass." --Stealth
 MegaBasket distracts the child with his impressive pants bulge while the Human Blur makes off with his wallet -- Top Ten Rejected Marvel Supervillians --Emil Blovin
 The fog comes in on little Adidas feet. --Shem
 And so the ghostly bricklayer stalked the plaza forever after, wielding his spectral trowel of vengeance. --Shem
 Kid Flash uses a crotchbat! --Waldo
 When accused of wrongdoing, Jason often vibrated himself into another dimension, leaving little Eddie to take the brunt of the punishment. --Generik
 "Tonight on America's Funniest Genie Videos: the laughs roll aplenty when Al Jamal Malik decides to materialize between Brandon Cruz's son and Bill Bixby's son on the set of 'The New Adventures of the Courtship of Eddie's Father'". --helen keller
 "Sweetheart, if I'm lying about giving the milkman a blowjob may God strike me dead this second in front of you and Scooter by turning me into a pillar of smoke." --helen keller, Sodom and Gommorah, some wonderful towns, the Bronx is up and the Battery's Down
 Another child molested in record time. The Flash's criminal antics again go unpunished. --Hippie
 An incident involving an Irish girl unstuck in time inspires young Sonny Chiba to fend off attacker Slim Pickens with his burgeoning Kung Fu skills. --Jimmy Awesome
 Sarah's electric Ben-Wa balls suddenly kicked into high gear. --The Lawyer
 'Big deal, the picture's blurry,' Timmy thought. 'I was so stoned that day, EVERYTHING was blurry.' --Not for the faint of heart
 One day, Joey's invisible friend materialized and did to Uncle Robert what he'd been doing to Joey all along. --veba
 Realizing that the date was a bust, Jeanette morphed into her 5 year old boy disguise. This sicko would get what was coming to him when the authorities showed up. --LadyJ
 Chucky was just about to stab his next victim when a hairdresser raced by and dyed his hair black. In the ensuing confusion, the victim was able to escape. --LadyJ
 Billy didn't realize the ramifications of tripping Clark Kent until it was too late. --anon
 This scene from David Lynch's "Lost Highway" was left on the cutting room floor, due to the fact it would have made some kinda sense. --Jake
 Every year, over 1,000 Americans are killed tripping over midgets. --Azazael
 Poor Billy. He never payed attention when his dad told him to never, never step on the blue square. --Mr. ?
 Children would often dare one another to go touch old man Thompson's crotch, which was rumored to be haunted by a ghostly apparition. --Marlboro
 Hurricane Judy was a small but stylish storm which hit south Florida last week, looking for bargains. --Jazzsoda
 GET BACK, DAD! Her warp drive's kickin' in! --Kitsunesan
 "Step aside, mortals! Methamphetamine Girl coming through!" --anondog
 Bob always laughed at the tales of the Cookie Pirates, their organic cloaking devices and their Holy Sharpened Squid of Mycenae. He stopped laughing recently. --Jamey "General Crisis" Powell
 Among the new X-men for the `98 season is Shopolux, who has the ability to powerwalk through malls faster than the speed of light. Shoplux's arch-enemy is Disembodied head boy, who can control the movements of others crotches, to do his bidding. In this still, we see the two titans clash in another chapter of their neverending struggle. --Rev. Jason N Whitmore
 The last thing you want to do is piss off mommy's ghost. --Buck

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