IADL #288
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 Geez. Hannibal Lector's really let himself go. --Magus
 Fran Drescher and Alicia Silverstone: twenty years later. --RipperJak
 'Arm weapons 1-5...' 'Sir, we have only four.' 'What!?!' 'We have only four weapons, sir.' 'Look, asshole -- The fucking bass player for Bush has more than four weapons, how can I be overlord of the entire universe with only four weapons!?!? Go invent some more!!!' --Evil Archie
 The women, after comparing notes, came to the realization that even though they had never met him, they both felt they too had been sexually harassed by President Clinton. --alanon
 I say we get on that bus and leave that crummy old circus behind. With your talents and my irridescent lavender ghost-like mole-baby we could do just fine on our own. --ChoppingBlock
 "Francine the Puffer-fish Girl just isn't a menacing super villain, sweetie. Try to understand!" --toade
 In an effort to get back the money lost from Solo, Jabba the Hut takes to public transportation. --Don Spudleone
 "What I like about you, Harry, is that other guys always look at me like a piece of meat, and you... only do when you're hungry." --Ravecavy
 Peg, being annoyed by Edwina, inflates her neck as a natural defensive warning. --Jenn Dolari
 "Nagasaki, huh? I'm from Boise, myself!" --Dr. KNob
 Much to Peggy's chagrin, K-Y Jelly began seeping from Pat's gym bag. --Opie
 We gotta program the exploding head disguise with more responses than "Two weeks" --Mr. ?
 Teri and Jeri were so deep in libelous gossip about the slutty new temp worker that they failed to noticed that the train had junped the tracks and was plowing through a residential neighborhood. --not elsie
 "You know Steve, most guys just look too effeminate with a handbag, but for you the damage is already done so..." --DieLifeDie
 Yeah, the Blade Runner chick look is just right for you! --Werehamster
 Yggrd'z listened to the Earthling babble, and felt confident that she could reach her spacecraft without attracting attention. She had not yet realized that her "handbag" had begun to sweat. --Werehamster
 "Oh, Edwina! Don't be a silly goose! You're just as attractive as I am! I never want you to think again that I'm just your friend so I can feel even more beautiful! Now! Let's go to Hooter's and pick up my paycheck, then go to 'House O' Petite Sizes' to shop 'til we drop!" --Tillman
 Janice felt much safer with her "Inflatable Mass-Transit Grrrrlfriend", but over-inflating was sometimes a problem... --Tillman
 "And so, mizter Bond, if you vant to zee Natalya again, you vil tell us vhere ze Goldeneye is." --Magus
 Damn. My All Mayonase diet isn't working! --Mr.?
 All week Martha was asked "how'd you get that strange tan?" --ChAoS
 "No, I'm sorry. This is not the train going to Avengers Headquarters, Masked Adverturer. This train is going to the secret lair of the Mandarin. Want a bite of some of my Kung Pao Jerky?" --helen keller, Hail Hydra! Cut off a limb, and two pieces of roast beef will grow back to replace it!
 "And I said to Colin Powell, 'Hey, if you wanted to make an honorable discharge, you should have stayed in the Army.'" --helen keller
 Mrs. Lone Ranger does the weekly shopping. --Waldo
 .. and the eerie floating heads of all the people she'd devoured haunted her for the rest of her life. --SoilCreep
 Just then, Mary realized that the fat guy she'd been talking to on the bus the past three mornings was really a corpse. --Ripp
 Amy hated having to take the bus to her performances at the Kabuki theater. --Shem
 The Goddesses of Light and Darkness meet by chance on the #79 crosstown. --Shem
 On the new 9th season of MST3K: Pearl ditches Prof. Bobo & Observer and teams up with Meg Tilly! --Doc Evil

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