Whistler's Mother-In-Law --Ratman
Got Milk? ....of Magnesia? --Opie
It's amazing how much carnage a 400 lb bottle of Coppertone can get away with. --LadyJ
"You... have chosen poorly." --Deiphage
I don't know how you evaded us for so long, Runner, the Sandman said, but you will never find Sanctuary now. --Agent Elite
And the #1 reason to stop smoking: This woman is only 29 years old! --Mr. ?
Rose's psychic friend predicted her brush with death, but not the fact that he would only ask her for a quarter. --Mr. ?
The Tickle me Olga doll was a marketing disaster. --Mr. ?
After blowing the tranny on her broom, Hilda is forced onto public transportation. --Sean Q
Trying to leverage more pressure on Solo, Darth Vader came to speak to Jabba's mother, Raisa the Hutt. --Lost in Erehwon
Fiddler on the Subway --R.J.M.
Zrmsna sets out from the small Croatian city of Brnci, searching for vowels. --Lost in Erehwon
Olga enjoys borsht, beets, and long walks under the moonlight. For Olga, press 2349. --Mr. ?
"...and surely ranks as one of Rembrandt's most disturbing self-portraits." --phil
Furtively clutching her gold medals, Nadia Comaneci ponders a comeback. --Sean Q
Calgon, take me away! --Sean Q
So, son, you're the Grim Reaper, so what. You never visit, you never call me, and what's with that robe and hood, don't I buy you new clothes... --Mr. ?
Dolly Keane used to complain about not aging for years, but then one day it happened all at once. --fish in the sky
Mrs. Johnson almost got through a day cliche free, until she surged in her Depends. --Deiphage
"You're Death? You look taller in the pictures." --Yellow Dawg
Hag on you, seat! --Pastor of Muppets (had to conform)
"What the hell is that woman eating?" --Lots42
The wilier and more experienced riders know to keep their hands a safe distance from Large Marge --mutantdog
Grandma was enjoying the Universal Studios Theme Park "Dysfunctional Life" ride. Then when the gigantic Goth chick busted through the ground and started tonguing a Klondike, she got all freaky and soiled herself. --Smokey
Bachelorette "D" in the Turkmenistani Dating Game enjoys cabbage soup and soft toilet paper -- meet Olga! --Smokey
Where will you be when the metamucil kicks in? --Riff
"NO! NO SHRUBBERIES!" --Magus
The stress of show business has taken its toll on Molly Ringwold. --RipperJak
Dave Thomas stars in the Hallmark Theater's rendition of My Favorite Babushka --RipperJak
It's not a slavic woman or a man in drag. It's far worse, it's a slavic man in drag! --ChAoS
Hush little purse now don't say a word... Momma's gonna buy you a mockingbird... --Fresh Prince of Darkness
Hera's lesser known sister Edna, goddess of Public Transportation. --Fresh Prince of Darkness
Rhoda kneals before Lord Vader. --The Sandman
"I don't think we're in Omsk anymore, Totovich," murmured Dorotya Galeskaya. --Shem
If that bastard leans his chair back one more notch, his head goes in the bag too. --anon
A frightened Clara Peller discovers where the beef is. --Deiphage
We've secretly replaced Kathy Ireland's "Lady Speed Stick" with "Ugly Stick"... --Namgubed the Merry Elf
Gladys sat silently going through her coupons in her head, blissfully unaware that Gothra was about to eat the bus. --Mycroft
"Thirty years Boris and I chase Moose and Squirrel, and for what? Fifty ruble pension and annual rail pass to Black Sea for holiday. Bah." --Yellow Dawg
"If only I'd had you cremated, Morris, I'd have so much more leg room taking you home." --Yellow Dawg
....Here is the church, here is the steeple; open the door, and.... CRAP! I always screw this part up! --Pastor of Muppets
Day Three of the experiment: The two mexican males have fused into one old squat female. So far, none of the alien forms have succeeded in finding a mate, to noone's surprise. A scene from Species III: the Quickening --Pastor of Muppets
Jane screamed as the Jello Pudding Pop threatened her life. --Lots42
And the one you never see from behind the scenes, Kosher Spice. --phil, Thick-E and Fresh Prince of Darkness
Darth Vader, having failed in his efforts as a high ranking Galactic Empire officer, turns his aspirations to purse snatching. --Womp Rat