IADL #31
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 Damn mall food, so much for this pair of shoes! --Sailor Venus
 Hey! How did this thing know that my fly was undone? --Rusty Zipeur
 If I lead Mall Security down this corridor by the food court, I can implement my plan of destruction. HALLMARK WILL BE MINE! --Soma
 According to this here map, there should be a trashcan right round here someplace. --NotMe
 Before cruising the mall for chicks, Jake practices the age-old 'sucking in my gut without it looking like I'm sucking in my gut' maneuver. --Kurt L.
 Domino's! Who ordered the pepperoni -- ... Dammit! I can't believe I fell for this again! --Kurt L.
 He knew the Village People were planning a reunion tour...and this time, he'd show them just why they had to have a Postal Worker in their lineup -- especially since that Indian chief was no longer PC... --sorry Jack -- ZED's back!
 "Damn -- this Map Board only shows where things are in the mall! Now how the fuck am I going to figure out where that whole truck of mail goes? This is harder than I thought! --sorry Jack -- ZED's back!
 The voices from his pants kept repeating "Don't touch me!". --Monk n Treb
 Hmmmm..."Postal Employees Revenge Emporium"...Level 2, #347... --Roger Mexico
 Whenever Burt needed reasuurance of his existence, he would find the map. And there would be the soothing words: "You are here." And then he would weep. --Greg J
 Pete consulted the map just for appearance's sake; he knew EXACTLY where 'Pussy's Entertainment Pavillion' was located. --Keef
 "Shoes, shoes, shoes, Radio Shack, chick clothes, shoes, shoes, Corn Dog On A Stick, shoes..." --The Turtle
 After Bill was elected,Roger Clinton just knew he would get a gravy Federal job. --Larbo
 MAN, these new victoria secret ads are GREAT! --shelly the cat
 The lead-weighted deep sea diver boots may be trendy and fashionable, but now Pete was unable to finish his route. --The Sandman
 Tuesday, April 5, I was standing in front of a mall sign trying to find the Lost and Found. I had lost my mail earlier that day when this strange individual approached me and started a rather absurd conversatoin about homicidal clowns. Strangely enough, this man ws dressed as a clown and was on his way to a child's birthday party. I thought nothing of it since I was supposed to deliver a package to Herb's Leather Shop. But before I knew it, the clown man had started this suprisingly seductive dance around me and I accidently dropped my package. Of course, I had forgotten about the package until I reached the mall map. Boy, was I peeved! Not only was I seduced by a crazy clown, but I had lost the package which brought me to the mall! After that unfortunate situation, I quit my job because I have been attracting too many clowns lately. However, when I got home, there was a message on my machine. And none other than that vicious clown had called, asking to come and do his dance for me again. But this time, he claimed, would be even better. He should be here any minute. --a little man from another place
 "I stared down at my shiny pair of Doc-Martens, and realized I'd failed again. Not only couldn't I bring myself to stomp minorities, but I couldn't even cut my hair. I knew now I'd never be accepted..." --Confessions of a Sensitive Skinhead, Pocket Books --kafka
 Man, the girls really dig this post office look! --el Marko
 Julainna Marguiles duirng the "e.r." hiatus. --The Sandman
 I'll be damned -- I AM here! --Don Spudleone
 I could be wrong, but I think that spider just propositioned me! --Don Spudleone
 Staring at my toes makes the bad voices go away. --a little man from another place
 Either I am growing taller, or everyone is shrinking..... --a little man from another place
 Little did Jesse know, that God had picked this special day to tell him that he was the reincarnation of the Virgin Mary and that he would soon give birth to a bouncing baby boy. --a little man from another place
 Yep! It's still there! --Der Tanzer
 ...of course the others did it AT the post office, but there's a lot more targets here... --C. Clavin
 Danny waited and waited after applying the Miracle-Gro, but nothing came of it. --hippie
 Postal workers who haven't quite reached their limit often loiter behind signs at the mall, awaiting the chance to leap out and frighten small children. --Capt. phealy
 Damn, I can never find a thing in this place... Would "Bump 'n' Grind Girls" be under Specialty Stores or Services? --anon
 The 'Shy Flasher' begins to make his move. --Horselover Fat

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