IADL #311
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Scan supplied by Pastor of Muppets

 Coming soon to an adult entertainment complex or foreigner-owned mini-mart near you, Aros Videos' latest release: Chaffing Amy --Opie
 Manic-depressive twin powers - ACTIVATE! --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 Tonight, on a special holiday episode of Xena: Warrior Princess, Joxer gets a chakram up the ass after laughing at Gabrielle's new hat. --Desscribe
 The rivalry between Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan started at a Xmas party... --Doc Evil
 If he doesn't leave me alone soon, it's going to be Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire... --Doc Evil
 Tom was happy that Sue's hat helped take the attention away from his dumb-assed grin. --R.J.M.
 Courtney Love's Christmas Special was a great success, especially after she decapitated Gilbert Gottfreid with a coke spoon. --Stealth
 The hat she could take, his inane laughter she could stand, but if Dwayne made one more joke about "visiting his North Pole" she was going to rap him in the nuts. --Opie
 Ms. Fisher and attorney, moments before entering her sanity clause plea. --Dr. KNob
 Joyce tried to smile politely, but she really didn't understand what was so funny about "hat on you, mate" --fish in ths sky
 Aw, c'mon, folks, leave her alone. If she's spending Christmas with this guy, she's suffered enough. --Desscribe
 Got milk and cookies? --Doc Evil
 Unbeknownst to Larry, his high-pitched laugh switched Jane from "Anna," the party-loving flirt, to "Moloch," the personality responsible for eight grisly murders in upstate New York. --phil
 Tempers flare backstage at the Osmond's Christmas concert... --Tillman
 "Oh yeah. Christmas ... Memorial Day. I always get those two mixed up...." --Shem
 Where were you when the K-Y stopped working? --Opie
 Christmas is always a special time at Arkham Asylum.... --phil
 Jane paused, and decided that the best way to handle Ted touching her ass for the 5th time would to castrate the bastard. --anon
 Although related to their small blue colored relatives, the Blurfs were red, large, and definatly not Smurfy. --Mr.?
 Later, Jack Napier was knocked into a chemical bath by Batman. --ChAoS
 Jane misinterpreted the clubs announcement that all women who wear red hot stockings get in free. --Mr.?
 Laugh it up, funny boy. As soon as I get the pictures on my Web site, I'll show the entire world your fuzzy white balls. --Elkman
 A scene from the new Christmas special, The Spottiest Elf. --Shem
 "I swear, if one more guy asks if he can sit in my lap ... " --Shem
 Just say noel. --Sean Q
 o/` Randi the red-faced floating head had some very crimson skin/ and if you ever saw her, you'd be glad they did her in/ All of the other floating heads used to laugh and call her names/ They never let poor Randi join in any floating head games ... o/` - from The Dysfunctional Book of Christmas Carols Random House, 1998 --Riff
 Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus....and she's really drunk. --Medea (the elf who could not love)
 Of course, for the shopper who can't afford the pricier ones, The Head Store also offers such models as the "Acne-covered geek" ($19.95; santa hat not included) and "Man with eyes sown shut" ($17.99), which each come with an onyx backdrop and carrying case (not pictured). --Jamey Powell
 Sue grabs Bob by the 'nads and twists. That'll teach you to mock my hat... --Raven
 A few moments later, Rick learned how hard it is to keep laughing with a Santa hat stuffed so far down your throat it's starting to dissolve in your stomach acid. Of course, compared to Spinn, he got off easy... --Geoduck

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