IADL #313
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 Diane, before we get started I think you should know that sometimes I have a problem with prema...pre-ah-ma-turrrrr......prematurrr..ah-ah-ahhh.....oh, nevermind. --Opie
 You think my apartment is a mess? You should see W575. You have to walk on the garbage at a 45 degree angle there. --Mr. ?
 Soon afterwards, the couple seperated. Matilda went on to become a famous neurosurgeon, philanthropist, and social worker, attending to the needs of the poor and disenfranchised. Bob went on to tell his pals that he 'got some'. ---Count Chuckula
 The really eerie thing was that the next morning, they said "Man, I was so drunk last night" in perfect unison. --Heath
 And THIS is why freshmen should not be drinking on a first date. --RipperJak
 Eventually, it took four dentists and the Jaws of Life to untangle their braces. --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 From under the bed, the creature that had evolved from his old sweat socks, bags of fast food and underwear in a state I'd rather not think about looked up and said 'EEUGH! I think I'm gonna be sick!" --Matthew W Rossi III
 "Just keep telling yourself he's Leonardo DiCaprio," she thought. "Ignore the stench. Ignore the prickly little moustache. Think only of Leo..." --Ace McKinney
 Professor DeMara! I had no idea this is what you meant by 'oral testing'! --Mr. ?
 Here we see a tragedy not all too uncommon on many Italian university campuses...a young couple passionately kissing only to find moments later that their mustaches have become hopelessly entangled. --Opie
 Louie knew the other guys thought him strange, but dammit he liked an ass big enough to rest a drink on! --Opie
 This rockin' moment was brought to you by Budweiser, The Sophomore of Beers! --LadyJ
 Pat, the sex is great, but there's been something I've been meaning to ask you... --anon
 Even when he went away to college, spoiled rich kid Armand had the family maid come over to trim his beard with her teeth. --Generik
 "Let's see... insert tab A into oral cavity B... digiprobe FF into gym shorts MM..." --Generik
 Species III: First there was Sil. Then there was Eve. Now beware the horror of...Edna. --Nervous Tick
 Hmmm... That's an odd taste... --Doc Evil
 Bad decisions and 2 a.m. just seem to go hand in hand, don't they? --Harry Feltersnatch
 She: "Hot damn! This one's a citizen!" He: "Hot damn! This one has a pulse!" --Heath
 Come to me here my love, Here out of the way of the pie throwing contest. --Terminus
 Hey, wasn't this "Guy starts screwing maid, she stops cleaning the house" bit just on Seinfeld? --Sean Q
 "Hey" thought Chuck, "Makin' out with my mom ain't so bad!" --porn monkey
 Stan probably should have gone slower...but chicks who dressed up like the flag of Sweden always made him crazy with lust. --Opie
 "Can't you feel the love in this room?" he asked. Her only thought was, No, but I can smell the plague. --Eli
 "No one will find us here in the Impossible Zone, honey." --Lots42@aol.com
 His thoughts: Should I open my mouth? Should I use my tongue? Should I move my hands down to grab her ass? Her thoughts: Did I leave the stove on? Do these shorts make me look fat? What's that crap on the door? --Mycroft
 And they call it, nerdy love. --Mr. ?
 What a romantic you are Tim! You've cleaned the house! --anon
 For those concerned with the rising cost of traditional weddings, college dorm weddings are a popular alternative. --Shem
 Joel's bad housekeeping catches up with him: with all the crap on the floor, there's no way he can casually maneuver Diane back toward the bed. --Shem
 True love is for everyone. Even disgusting slobs. --Buoy
 Well... I guess you did pay for dinner... --Doc Evil

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