|Scan supplied by Pastor of Muppets
When Rush Limbaugh finally had one blintz too many and exploded, the shockwaves were felt for miles. --Ace McKinney
But clearly The Gauntlet's most depraved salon of all was the Keane Suite, in which Dysfunctional Family Circus fetishists paid $50 each to wank off in a room devoid of floor, ceiling, or furniture. --Jitter
The sad part is that Chad and Trent liked the feeling so much,they kept their shorts like that all day! --Bill
They call this dance "The Shrug". --LadyJ
Moments after the power went out, you could hear the most amazing "thump". --Heath
Wow! This "SpinnWebe" is the best ride ever! --NME (shameless, isn't it?)--
The Memorex guy was spared because his chair was bolted to the floor. His friends, standing behind him, weren't as lucky. --Mr. ?
See, Beth, WWIII can be fun! --Mr. ?
Do you think this wind makes me look fat? --Mr. ?
If we get out of here, I swear never to clone another T-Rex again. --Mr. ?
She kept a brave smile, but Sue, arms tightly folded, couldn't prevent her breast implants moving to their new location just under her armpits...Six Flags would rue this day for many years. --Tillman
The Flash, now a dirty old man, fondles women at the speed of light. --Lots42
After the great Boomer Revolution of 2010, thousands of perky twentysomethings were put up against the wall and shot. --Shem
Early attempts by the Spanish Inquisition to convert infidels were abandoned because of their inadvertant tendency to "amuse" the condemned. --Eli
Standing around in a black void, jumping up in the air for no reason, lighting some person's hair on fire...yep, those were the good ol' days... --Jamey Powell
Dammit, they're ENJOYING it! Let's set this bad boy on frappe! --Doc Evil
As a Jedi-in-training, Luke Skywalker used The Force to impress babes. --Magus
Dang, this is the ugliest collection of refrigerator magnets I've ever seen... --Kitsunesan
More hapless fans of the Wedgiematic! --Crack Baby
...and believe me when I say it took a lot of saliva to get 'em to stick like that. --Shifter
Will the girl who is about to hurl, please raise her hair? --R.J.M.
Glue. on. wall... Can't. break. free... Must. use. super. powers... --4T2
In the middle of their sky diving outing, the members of the ADD Support Network realize they forgot their parachutes. --Sean Q
IADL Pop Quiz: A Tilt-a-Whirl 25 feet in diameter spins at 120 feet per second. The girl in the sunglasses projectile vomits forward at 30 feet per second. The spew will strike (a) the girl with no eyes, (b) Heather Graham, (c) the lesbian couple, or (d) all of the above. --Sean Q
Say! Aren't you tired of having to squash your humans by hand? The answer is the new Ronco People Spinner, only three easy payments of $29.95 ... --Shem
Andrea was mortified when her cheap blonde dye job left a huge smear on the wall. --Shem
Now throw your hair in the air...and vomit like you just don't care... --Raper's Reprise
Release the weasels! --Generik
Brenda and Jerry jump for joy after winning the knobby-knees contest. --Shem
The latest ride at Disfunctional Disneyworld: Lead-weighted clothes and a big tank of water. --Buoy
"You were right, Sandi! The Rapture does kick ass!" --Desscribe
... and you'll all stay in there 'till you're convinced there's no such thing as centrifugal force! --Riff
One of these girls in not like the others, one of these girls is really a man. --ChAoS
Friends don't let friends Riverdance. --Medea (bring me the head of Colin Dunne)
Before she went bad, Carrie would use her telekinetic powers to amuse her friends. --Shem