IADL #322
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 Yeah, the bastard took my tater-tots. But what could I do? He was the Dark Lord of Sith --Doc Evil
 Whatsamatta, bub? Spinn reject your captions again? --NATE
 Let's see if she becomes interested when I put this bottle of Viagra on the table. --Mr. ?
 Damn these Magic Eye Tables! I've been here for six hours! --Mr. ?
 Business as usual at the Angst Cafe... --Tillman
 One half of Jacob wondered what it would be like to hold the Hot Dog on a Stick girl's hand...the other part of him wondered what her head would look like on a stick. --Opie
 An obviously depressed Ray Manzarek wonders for the millionth time why Jim "My meal ticket" Morrison had to go and die. --Opie
 "Aw, damn..." moped Ricky. "Since when did they make muzak out of classic Ozzy Osbourne?" --Mr. Ben McClellan's IADL invasion!
 Wait a minute... does that say... "cooked in 100% Olestra, may cause explosive diarrhea"... oh, that's just fucking great. --Sean Q
 Don't see any numbers... maybe I am colorblind! --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 Introducing the new McDonalds Existential Pathos Meal... --Doc Evil
 Steve sat for an hour, trying to figure out how his knowledge of Lao Tsu's teachings failed to impress the girl at the McDonald's counter. --not for the faint of heart
 He had her. She was impressed by his intelligence. Until she asked that one question he couldn't answer - "Why do they have umbrellas up when we're inside the mall?" --not for the faint of heart
 Though hoping to be cheered up by a visitation by the Bluebird of Happiness, Arnold is instead met by the Sloth of Suicidal, Cosmic Despair. --Magus
 Yep, he's still there. --Stealth
 "Tomorrow, I'll introduce myself to that girl at Cinnabuns. Oh, wait, Voyager's on tomorrow. Thursday, Thursday I'll..." --Heath
 Too broke to order even the smallest of Taco Bell combos, Ethan slowly came to the realization that doing Warren Zevon impressons for spare change at the mall might not be the wisest career choice. --Opie
 Anyone ELSE out there crushing his head? --Doc Evil
 "My umbrella will appear ... NOW! ... NOW! ... hm. My lunch will appear ... NOW! ... NOW!" -- Crazy Climber
 None could resist the hypnotic pull of the giant Necco wafer. --Medea
 Poor Ron had an argument with his food again; the two haven't spoken in hours. --anon
 There are some losers that even Mentos can't help. --Erekose
 After polishing off his Big Mac and Evian water, Biff stops to ponder the irony. --Sean Q
 The tragedy of when a blind date spots you first. --waldo
 John masturbated weakly into the wine. --Lots42
 John's table was actually the equivalent of three dollars in South Pacific money. --Lots42
 It wasn't so much that the disease *ruined* Steven Hawking's sex life, it just provided a more convenient explanation. --Woof
 Henry's hemmrhoid pillow slowly deflated. --Lots42
 "Think George Hamilton, be George Hamilton, live George Hamilton..." --The Sandman
 OK Marvin, timing is critical here, you must stand up as you are farting, without clenching your cheeks to keep it silent, then exit stage left with long, purposeful strides so as to spread the scent the greatest distance. --Destroyer
 The Flash, not wanting to tip his hand just yet, would annoy the villian by stealing his lunch when he wasn't looking. --Lots42
 Arnold's Ode to The Corn-Dog-On-A-Stick Girl: "Your hair is wafting, chestnut brown/ Topped by a colorful hat/ The way you dip those hot dogs down/ Dripping oil and fat./ And when I see you hand them out/ I think of love we had/ In the food court I will pout/ And damn this poem's bad." --AQUALUNG
 Whoa! Ted Turner colorized Andy Warhol! --Doc Evil
 Jim J. Bullock keeps his cool as throngs of fans completely fail to mob him at the Clearwater Shoppes Food Court. --JAS
 "O table, empty table..." No. How about "...table of nothingness, void..." no, no, "Table... Space... Nothingness!..." Aw, dump on it! You just can't be deep in the middle of a food court. --Smokey

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