"So what say, Missy. Any chance I could get a little black box on this flight?" --Heath
The passingers screamed and screamed as the plane plummeted. The overhead compartments were on fire. The stoned steward just stood there and hummed the Canadian national anthem. --anon
Hot coffee in hand, Dwight prepares to take extreme measures against the smoker in 23B. --Tranquil Holiday
Everybody...join in, Rocky Mountain High, Colorado... --R.J.M.
"Yes, I'm an airline steward. But I always wanted to be....a lumberjack!" --Stealth
"Aw, man, _Airplane 2_ again? That movie's a bomb!...NO! WAIT! CALM DOWN!" --Stealth
Terrific... Both Willaim Shatner AND John Lithgow are on this plane! This is gonna be a looooong flight. --Doc Evil
John Ratzenberger is your postal hero in Executive Decision II: the Claven Factor --porn monkey
Keg's out....raise your hand if you think the captain should turn this sucker around so we can "re-beer". --Opie
Sadly, Roger disregarded the fasten seatbelt sign on the concorde. It took the flight attendant two hours to clean up the back wall. --Mr. ?
Okay everybody. Start leaning to the left. Now a little to the right. --Mr. ?
"Hello. Welcome to "Butch White Male Airlines". More chamomile tea?" --RipperJak
Ok, which asshole wanted his martini shaken and not stirred? --Dubble Oh Sebbin
Mr. and Mrs. Steve Hofert, the first couple to join the Mile-High Club through artificial insemination. --White Dopes On Punk
"Bring on the sexy stews, baby. Yeah!" --M
"Hello, this is your captian speaking: Thank you for boarding TWA Flight 800. We will be taking off in just a moment..." --Jamey Powell
"Hmm... the plane is falling and there's no phone booth to change in. Guess Lois croaks this time." -- Crazy Climber
Man, you know homelessness is a problem when they start begging on planes. --Riff
As part of the preflight maintenance check, it is Reggie's job to take the pilot's sample out to the lab. --Ratman
When the Stewardess' Local 103 struck, American Airlines was forced to use ground mechanics for in-flight beverage services. --Sean Q
They didn't say nuttin' 'bout not chewin' on the plane! *spit* Oops, sorry ma'am. --Namgubed the Merry Elf
"Earl Grey, Hot." said Jake, as the other passengers aboard the plane tried not to snicker at him. --AQUALUNG
Coffee, tea or ME!!! --Waldo