IADL #333

 let's look at the bright side, gang: At least all of their hands are ABOVE the tables! --Doc Evil
 In Hell, this qualifies as "Boring as..." --Crack Baby
 Let me guess... his orange juice container says 'Concentrate'. --Luna
 Mr. Striker, the first step is to admit that you have a drinking problem. --Agent Elite
 Manic Depression:A Frustrating Mess --Skywise
 At the Mudslide Cafe you better bring your camera and your Visa card, because they don't roll down the mountain every day and they don't accept American Express. --Wabewalker
 After 5 years of porking out daily, Evert finally reached his goal: His man breasts were so big that he KNEW he could finally go home and lick his own nipples until daylight. --KevinCA
 When the tourist noticed the fat man was reading a Goosebumps book upside down, he immediately pulled out his camera, naturally thinking "jowls + illiteracy = Governor of Alabama." --Smokey
 Gallant fills himself with stimulants and crams until morning - Goofus watches with binoculars as the naked co-ed next door does a little 'cramming' of her own. Which one will succeed? --Riff
 Dear Lord, please give me the strength to accept what I can't change and to change what I can't accept...oh yeah a little pickle-tickle from the old lady every now and then would be nice also... --Opie
 Sadly, John's chin couldn't escape the gravitic pull of his gut. --T.H.
 I don't care about the tilt, I just want to know why there's corn growing outside the window. --Lots42
 Hey Upton Sinclair! It's a fucking Sausage McBiscuit! Put the jeweler's lens down and eat! --Opie
 Heart pounding...can't regulate breathing...left arm tingling...must finish burger... --The 13th Angel
 And here we see WhirllNete, Spinn's demented half brother, at work. --The Rogue
 {click} Oooh, the Eiffel Tower! {click} Wow, Disneyland! {click} (gasp) The Golden Gate Bridge! {click} Holy cow, it's... "It's a fucking VIEWMASTER, Larry, get over it!" --The Rogue
 As his grandson Charles looked on, Wilford Brimley explores the "Medical" benefits of drinking the bong water. --AQUALUNG
 "He hasn't even looked at me once. It's like last night never happened." --T.H.
 o/` Celebrate the moments of our deaths ... o/` --Riff
 Check out that guy's precariously placed coffe: I smell a McLawsuit!!! --Doc Evil
 Hey!! That's MY obituary! --The 13th Angel
 Maybe I can just ignore that guy who poked his eye out with a spork. --The 13th Angel