IADL #348
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 It's dead, Jim. --Trek-a-hore
 What light, from yonder Windows breaks? --R.J.M.
 Thing uses the iMac. Think different. --Thomas Wilde
 Well I'll be damned! There's an Intel Outside sticker on it! --Ratman
  Look at these eggheads / they may be geniuses / but they just did a netsearch / for 'Wild Goat Wienises' --lefty
 "But it's not complete until you put the 'Macs rule, PCs drool' bumper sticker on the side here." --Wabewalker
 Even after literally hundreds of thousands of man hours the top programmers at M.I.T still could not figure out the DejaNews message posting system. --Opie (i don't heart DeJa)
 While the tech reps at the trade show finalize the new iMac exhibit, Spinn reaches in to bookmark the DFC for a shameless plug. --Eugene's a Nerd
 Veni, vidi, maci. --Heath
 Macintosh makes a deal with God: commercial success in exchange for a free iMac and a "really 3l33t website." --phil
 "...and this here port must be for Captain Winky on those cold winter nights." --Ming
 This Apple ]|[ is neat-o! --AjD
 Imac: It's good enough for the Pope, so why aren't You using it? --andreaK hinkle
 Peering beneath the monitor, Herman discovers why they're called WANG computers. Thank you! I'll be in Las Vegas all week! Tip your waitress! --Nervous Tick
 "Uh...it might be a toaster..."--from the pilot to Dumb Computer Repairmen, this fall on UPN. --Ace McKinney
 While the techies were momentarily distracted, Alan logged on to microsoft.com and then ran off giggling. --Stickboy
 Wow! If I knew you used an iMac, St. Peter, I would have bought one myself! --Mr. ?
 John still thinks iMac stands for "I Mount All Computers" --Yakko
 The new iMac. So simple, even an eight year old can use it in minutes. Granted, a management team of three still hasn't a clue what the hell they're doing... --Crimson Velvet
 Jeers: Penn and Teller get Net Savvy - Airdate August 21, 9:00 FOX. At one time, Penn and Teller were brilliant magicial comics, stunning viewers and debunking fellow magicians. Now they just show you how to make "MY NAME IS BOB" run in an endless loop in your local CompUSA. Oh how the greats have fallen. --Eugene's a Nerd
 Dave, what are you doing? That feels nice Dave. Don't stop Dave. --Opie
 The angel, iMac the White, comes to assume Steve Jobs into heaven. Unfortunately, some joker goes to www.spinnwebe.com and Steve is instead assumed into the Nipple Server. --The Mystery Roach
 The "iMac" on the wall was enough to attract people who know their way around a computer. The bright light, though, was intended to repel those who sleep all day and spend their nights goggling at nudie-pictures. ---Colon Bowel---
 I don't care if it is bad PR. I'm gonna kill the next idiot who comes by with that iMac, you Jane joke. --Lost in Erehwon
 Hmm... instead of booting up with a smiley face, this iMac keeps giving me the finger. --Coalcracker
 Jobs and Woz conduct a seance in order to contact the ghost of their former success --Zefel
 "Here's the problem...Tell the truth Mr. Stevens...You've been frequenting the 'anal' chat rooms haven't you?" --Harry Feltersnatch
 Little minx! Floyd knows what that "one suspender up, one suspender down" look does to me... --Smokey
 "Yeah. yeah, great, one button Internet access. When you guys develop one button porn access, give me a call." --Sean Q
 C'mon, quit kidding around and tell me where you hid the floppy drive. There has to be one. --Bill Gates
 Apple attempts to expand its customer base by making machines that require three users. Microsoft stock rises 20%. --uMac
 "I swear to God Bob, if I hear another 'Think Different' I'm going to vomit right after I pull the bastards head off." --Think *DIFFERENTLY* dammit.
 Nah, I just wanted to look, I'll wait until after Microsoft duplicates it, gives it away for free, and starts claiming they invented it before I get one. --anon
 "Hey... there's a label back here.... 'Not for use with http://www.spinnwebe.com'.... SONOFABITCH!!" --TBone's House O' Screamin' Weasels!!
 Gallant re-boots the computer with the new settings. Goofus wonders which button he has to press for "Amputee Porn"... --Doc Evil
 He He He He.......Wit dis komputa da evil Bill Gates zill not no vat hiddum. --Timmy's Flat Rotting Colon ( watching too many Bullwinkle shows as a tyke!)
 'Is it Windows '98 compatible?' --Riff
 Pay no attention to the little man behind the CPU. --Shem
 You can always tell if your computer is male or female by checking under the monitor. --Crack Baby
 Open the CD tray-door, Mac....Open the CD tray-door, Mac --Opie
 "And here we have the much-desired high-resolution Lite-Brite..." --Stealth
 "... and the last and most important step -- making sure the Microsoft Drone Hypno-Module is properly installed." --Shem
 Oh, that's bright. No floppy drive, but it has its own warp core? --Smokey
 The Microsoft boys at the technology expo wondered when the Apple team would notice the "OCKSUCKER" they had scrawled next to the "iMac" on the back of their booth. --Smokey
 ...and if you stick you hand through this hole and toggle this little switch you can get like as many free games of Dig-Dug as you want! --Opie
 As Bob finished eradicating all Microsoft products from the machine, it began to glow once more with the clean, pure light of rightiousness and good.... --Raven
 2 hours and 3 California Department of Motor Vehicle engineers later and the "Any Key" is still missing. --Opie
 A maintenance engineer by trade, Harry firmly believed he could increase the speed of the computer by lubricating the connections. --lefty
 The boys in Vegas place the number of Mac jokes that Spinn rejects at around 7,000. --Emanon
 The creators of www.psychicfern.com waited patiently inside their office. Their time...oh, fuck it. --agm
 Well here's your problem! Damn Star Trek conventioneers set up your table for a core breach! --Mr. Kontoontwon

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