Janice found that with constant butt clenching, she could make it all the way home without seepage. --FluffyBunny
While her granddaughter kept watch for the police, Jocelyn Elders began to torture her Newt Gingrich voodoo doll. Now that he was out of Congress, his ass was hers... --Leth
The exact moment James Brown decided that his career was in trouble. --The 13th Angel
Ha ha ha! That's a good one, Mr. Leg! --"Rabbi" Steve Austin
Damn teenagers. Call me "Chicken Leg Lady", will they? I'll whoop their little...wait, now I get it! Hee hee hee! --Jesse "the Rabbi" Ventura
But if I don't sit on this bench at a rate of fifty miler per hour, it'll explode! --aK h (elp-me)
Don't worry, sweetheart, we only got 15 more to go before we pin down your real father. --Cranky Bear
Laughing in glee, 76 year old Mamie Jones has glued yet more styrofoam peanuts to a unknown child's head. --Twisted Mentat
The Bus to Reality was clearly running behind schedule. --lefty
Even Ho's participated in bring your daughter to work day. --R.J.M.
Wanda would cross her legs to show that she was off-duty. --R.J.M.
Remember the mountain lion from the Bugs Bunny cartoons? Neither does anyone else, which is why he's in the part of the Red Light District for "specialty acts." --phil
Dionne's psychic friends neglected to warn her about her firing from the network and the resulting 40 pounds she would gain from depression. --ChoppingBlock
"Okay, Rudy, just keep calm. Ignore the scary-looking woma,- er, ma-, uh, person" --Deiphage
After feeding Grandma one of her LSD laced gummi bears, Ramona was ready to make a break for it. --Twisted Mentat
With Grandma whacked out on 'ludes and little Jessie twitching all over from the sugar high, it promised to be another fun day on the sidewalk. --Twisted Mentat
Something about this picture just screams "Ice pick lobotomy". --The Mystery Roach
This is one of the shiny happy people REM never told you about. --RipperJak
"Mommy, it's not funny. I really, really have to go!" --anon
In line for the 'Tubba the Hot' audition for Star Whores. --Mr. ?
"You know sweetie? This is some high quality shit you done gave your gran'ma. Boy when I was your age I had to swipe some from our neighbors stash late at night, and you go telling me you got these from your elementary teacher. Mmm...mmm, you kids shore do learn some interesting things nowadays." --SnoopyCow
Ellen always wanted to be a judge, but never had the cash for school. So instead, she just told friends her job was "sitting on the bench." --Crack Baby
Dark Trash. --Mr. ?