IADL #380
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 Arggg. Fire BAD! --Mr. ?
 Some students study for their midterms, but not Jessie. He prefers to sacrifice No.2 Pencils to the Great God of Multiple Choice. --Mr. ?
 Honey, you build the fire, I'll make the General Foods International Coffes Caffe Mocha™ --ChoppingBlock
 Camping Tip #1 Never attempt to 'leap the fire' when one of your legs is a foot and a half shorter than the other. --the skyclad answer
 Even though her wiseass friends gave her a Birthday Bonfire for her 40th birthday, Louise still insisted she could blow out the flame in one breath. --RoBear
 Suddenly, the flame spoke: "Yes, I am indeed God almighty. I must ask you - are you truly satisfied with your long distance carrier?" --Riff
 In the middle of the night, under the sacred Moon of the Bleeding, by the Pyre of Womoncleansing, Dyana performs the holy "Can't Touch This" dance. --Orrin Bloquy
 Chucky discovers the hard way that Lara Croft has no time for triflers in Child's Play V: Chucky Fucks Up. --Orrin Bloquy
 Hi, I'm Mitch the Talking Bonfire, and I'm just here to say your boyfriend's eating your coleslaw. --anon
 Ballet Flambe --kyosuke
 Xena couldn't even cook marshmallows without a few backflips and war cries. --kyosuke
 With her razor back at home, Tanya was forced to come up with an alternative method for removing leg hair... --R.J.M.
 "Damn, those science geeks were right," Gina thought as her left leg expanded from exposure to the heat. --Wabewalker
 My camping trip with Claudine was something I'll never forget, ecpecially after the whole "I'll show you differently abled" incident. I never thought I'd see EMTs laugh diractly at a patient before.. --Slappyjack
 After an hour and a half, the campfire game of "hold a boulder up with your thighs" started to get a bit stale. --Deiphage
 'Wait. If you're changing the log's diaper, then where's the baby....?' --agm
 Knowing her huge "monument to flame" would attract the park rangers, Tom quickly hides his stash in Stacy's backpack. --Crack Baby
 Let's see Mr. Mind Over Matter walk his ass over this! --Crack Baby
 "...In conclusion your honor all 50,000 of my clients are seeking damages for mental anguish caused by Spinnwebe Corporation's callous refusal to accept their 'shit a brick' captions. --DieLifeDie
 Jane uses Tai Chi to hypnotize a passing squirrel, while Bob gets out the sporks and barbeque sauce -- mutantdog
 A new variation on a popular game: Rock, Fire, Loser. --Ashhole
 "Yeah, it's right here. Tuesday, 2 o'clock...eyebrow waxing. All crossed off." --Ashhole
 Now shipping in time for the holidays! PERFORMANCE ART FOR DUMMIES #ISBN 250666807 Stock up today! --Ashhole
 Xena stared at fire.. Why did it keep asking her to sacrifice a son? --Terminus
 "Hey Heavan's Gate! Kiss my ass!" In the hospital two weeks later all Deb could say was "ouch." --Yogurt and Pot-boilers
 As a Christian values extremist, Billie-Mae belived that if God wanted Timmy to survive the flames, he would. --Yogurt and Pot-boilers
 * MOSES!!! * Whoops, wrong number! My bad! --Doc Evil
 Look at it try to climb out of the fire! God, I love the outdoors! --aK h
 We've replaced Erin's hot dogs with balloons full of kerosene. Let's watch. --Thomas Wilde
 Since she didn't know any ghost stories, Erica just stood up, crushed a chunk of granite with her thighs, and then sat back down. --Thomas Wilde
 You put your left foot in, you pull your left foot out, you put your left.... AAAAA!! AAA!!! --Taskmaster
 Moments after being kissed by Gerald the geek in front of her entire class on the school campout, Susan decides to throw her body into the sweet, cleansing flames of the bonfire. --The 13th Angel
 Carrie steps back quickly as the pile of Total Quality Management manuals flares and sparks angrily.... --nashtbrutusandshort
 "OK, honey, just need your signature on the baby's life insurance form and we can go." --extra-mean crispy
 Joan of Park... --aK hi(f i had a brain, I'd be dangerous)nkle
 Am I too late for the "shitting bricks" caption? Is it in the red zone yet? No? Oh man, I can't believe nobody else has thought of this, it's gonna rock. "Shitting bricks", man that's funny. Phew, alright here we go, Hey! Look at me! I'm shitting a brick! Huh! Huh!. Oh Christ, that's gonna kill the boys in accounting. Phew. --Brettt Maverick

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