IADL #387
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 With only one heart energy left, Zelda knew he'd never defeat the dreaded Hallmark Beast. --Soanim8ed
 Whipped cream, red balloons, and a card all in one store, isn't Kash N' Karry great! --Shaggy
 Hmmm...."Congratulations"...."Get Well Soon"...ah, here it is! "Doan be dissin' me, bitch!" --Cranky Bear
 "Man, Te'niqua, Whitey pretty fucked up most da time, but I gotta hand it to 'em...dis Hallmark shit is poetry. Sheer poetry." --Cranky Bear
 The final nail in MC Hammer's career occurred when he drifted away from Prince's and Rick James's lyrics and instead sought his inspiration from Shoebox Greetings. --Cranky Bear
 With the memory of last year's Valentine's Day ending with him getting a cap popped in his ass still fresh in his mind, Jack decides to beat the crowds and get a good card in late December... --Tillman
 Arnold is yet again frustrated by the lack of Hanukkah cards this year. --Valvoline
 Yo, man! Garfield's da bomb!? Well, if this is what they feel is appropriate for a Harlem Hallmark, I think I will take my business elsewhere. Good Day. --Mr. ?
 "hmmm... Friendship, birthday, anniversary, condolences...I guess I'll have to write my own suicide note!" --Semilllama
 Nothin says love like a big heart balloon, a mushy card, and a super sized value meal. --lefty
 It strange, but I can't find any Father's Day cards that say "You screwed up my childhood, asshole." --Werehamster
 The Peanuts-Snoop Dogg cards often failed to carry the heartfelt sentiment most Hallmark cards did. --Brandolon Hill
 Peter Benton tries to pick the perfect card to reveal his love to Mark Greene on a very special "ER." --DieLifeDie
 Damnit! All these Kwaanza Cards got white people on 'em. Fuckin Hallmark. --SlappyJack
 Like a lion at the watering hole during dry season, Gabe ALWAYS knew where to find the lonliest women - buying cards for friends on February 13th. --SlappyJack
 Excuse me miss, where are the I'm-Sorry-I-Bit-Your-Ear-Off Cards? --ChoppingBlock
 Mmmmm... picture cards with blank insides. Must...resist...captioning... --Orrin Bloquy
 Tyrone slowly seethed with rage. The millineum starts on January 1st, 2001, godammit! he screamed to himself. --crispy
 He thought he had found the perfect card for his swahili speaking prospective girlfriend. It was loving, tender, and beautiful. Unfortunetally for him, it translated to "May your sexual organs sprout wings and fly away." --Ewik the well wed
 Whenever Tyrone felt the need to do another gang bang or drive by, he would dive into the nearest Hallmark, and several precious moment cards later, he'd be as good as new. --Mr. ?
 "Hmmm: If you died today, I would be upset for at least several minutes... Nah, don't want to come on too strong." --Deiphage
 "Hmmmm.. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. Still don't get it." -- Tom's litany at the Cathy greeting card section. --Crack Baby

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