IADL #393
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 Mom, I'm calling you on the Sports Illustrated Phone Phone! It's a phone that's shaped like a phone! --Werehamster
 Obsessed with her banal phone conversation, Michelle never noticed the over-waxed floor and the bear-pit at the end of the corridor. Meanwhile, Harvey hid in the bushes as his plan came to fruition. This year, he would be the Prom Queen. --the Engine
 ...Mr. Collins, this is Jessica Fogarty. I'm just calling to let you know that I'll be a little late for work...oh, about ten seconds late; I'm in front of the store now. --R.J.M.
 Agent $99.95 --R.J.M.
 Because of a freak short circuit, Mercedes' phone called itself. She had a 45 minute conversation. --crispy
 "All right, if you ever want to see your boyfriend alive again, gently place the bag of bratwurst in front of the Gap..." from I Still Know What You Did in the Sheboygan Mall Last Summer, one star. --crispy
 "Dominos? Yeah, it's Cindy. Could you just meet me at the corner of 3rd and Walnut?" --Brandolon Hill
 Yes, Master, I have killed the mall. --Namgubed the Merry Elf
 Monica suddenly realizes that the nerd in her science class is the last guy on Earth, and rethinks her previous answer. --snackwhore
 Ginny takes her time getting the ransom to the Kay Bee Toys drop off. She had come to like her freedom, and hoped the kidnappers would keep Tommy for another week or so. --snackwhore
 Creepy! It's like they follow you when you move around. --Riff
 "Why yes, I would like to hear about your new cellular phone rates. I'm lonely." --Riff
 "Yes," Hallie said. "It's just like we figured. Nine circles of Pottery Barn and Sbarro. No, I don't know where he got the financing...oh, the Seventh Circle is for real estate developers? I didn't know that." --Matt Rossi
 OK, I'm almost to the storefront where he wants me to drop off the coffee and the tits. --Burn before reading
 'So then I put my left foot on the ground a few inches forward? Which one is left? Daaadddyyy, this walking thing is haaaarrrddd.' --Stickboy
 Cathy dialed the number three times before realizing that she was talking into a cinnamon bun. --Kitsunesan
 Helen survives a nuclear blast while inside a Gap dressing room, and emerges to find nobody else anywhere in the Mall, tonight on Twilight Zone 90210. --agm
 Ma'am, it's the police! The call is coming from inside the mall! --Crack Baby
 "No, not the Towne Center Plaza mall in Kansas City. What's next?" -- A call to 10-10-9000 to get the mall information desk's number enters its second hour. --Trainman
 Melinda's plan of crank calling of the mall stores had a fatal flaw. Namely, they could see her. --Lots42@aol.com
 Obtaining her cell phone number was the hard part for Mall Security. Getting her to try to touch her elbows behind her back on camera was the easy part. --agm (salv. Riff)
 "I said drop the stock NOW, you stooge! I don't have time for this-- I'm on my way to the Sanrio store to get some more Hello Kitty dolls!" --Valvoline
 "Gee, my hair smells terrific!" --Tillman
 "Hi Susan, this is God. Everyone else is up here in heaven, but not you. No, because you two-timed Billy Worthington. See you later, skank." --crispy
 "So, like, all the lights are on, but nobody's home. Huh? No, not you, Brenda, the mall. Jeez!" --Stealth
 October 15th: When a localized storm knocks out the nearby cell-phone transmission tower, this French model gets cut off. This is reported in Variety as follows: Small Fall Squall Stalls Gaul Doll's Mall Calls --Ken
 "Mmmm. Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, do it to me like that--ooooh, Pier One has wicker on sale!--oh, yeah, do it, baby..." --Pete
 Once Jessica finished shaving her ears, she looked up and wondered where everyone had gone. --Yer Mom
 Sharon didn't know what to do with her busy hand. Her only hope was to find a Yo-Yo House and quick. --Mr. ?
 Alicia was a successful hand model, until that fateful day she took the Crazy-Glue job. --DieLifeDie
 Even years after kindergarten, Dawn still had "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" flashbacks. --DieLifeDie
 Scene from the New Twilight Zone episode "So, Like OHMIGAWD! Where IS Everybody?" --Doctor X
 New! Inflato-Breast! Simply insert into ear, press the Inflate button, and viola! (Not affiliated with Inflato-Butt.) --Rev. Evil Ed
 "...and I hope this battle station is fully operational by the time the Emperor gets here, Commander...for your sake." --Pete

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