IADL #412
(some picture)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

 Only briefly did we make the mistake of calling him 'Santa's *little* helper.' --Orrin Bloquy
 Billy "club" sold separately. --Orrin Bloquy
 Just in time for Christmas, "Realdoll" develops a male version. God help us all. --Agent Elite
 Somewher in this toy store there's a Santa doll in thong underwear (*shudder*). --Orrin Bloquy
 $70 seemed a little steep, until people discovered he too had Kung-Fu Action Grip. --Orrin Bloquy
 Even though she had the diner, the ferrarri, and the dream house, Billy was only interested in Barbie's wardrobe. --Mr. ?
 Like everyone didn't already know about Ken's little friend. --Mr. ?
 'Billy': What I will never name my children. --Mr. ?
 It wouldn't surprise me at all if the dolls next to him were a cowboy, an indian, a traffic cop, a biker, and a sailor. --Mr. ?
 Santa's here, and he wants to give you his package. --Werehamster
 "Our next item up for bid is Lot #7. Harvey Firestein's "Christmas Alone Emergency Kit: In case of holiday rejection, break glass." Do I hear $1? Just $1? I'll throw in some lube, c'mon folks this is a fucking collector's item. --Talisker
 Introducing Billy Claus: Comming up your chimney this Christmas. --Kirok
 Mattel's follow-up to Cock Ring Magic Ken, Holiday Stripper Billy. Comes complete with singles you can stuff into his thong! --LuvBJones
 His insincere smile is tolerable only because, well, he is hung like a horse. --Stealth
 Out of Dominatrix Dolly? What do you have left? --Mr. ?
 "Uncle Roy sure does give weird presents." thought Billy...oh, wrong caption contest. I coulda swore.. --Twisted Mentat
 ...batteries for Billy's Vibrating North Pole sold seperately. --kyosuke
 "I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus....." --Pelle
 You laugh now, but it outsold Furby this year for Xmas in San Francisco. --Leth
 Unfortunately, QVC didn't seem to sell a great deal of their "Gigolo: A Holiday Treat" model, mostly due to unrealistic eye coloring, I'm told. --AQUALUNG's Latter Colon Problem
 Someone's going to Hell. Someone's going to Hell, and is going to burn a long, long time for this. --Bride of AQUALUNG
 Actually, Keanu Reeves was supposed to play the "Gay Santa" part, but they decided the doll had more panache. --Son of AQUALUNG
 No cowboy hat, no hapkido... man, this is the most unauthentic Billy Jack action figure ever. --BAR-1
 The worst part of Billy's nightmare wasn't the fact that he was a doll, nor was it that he was dressed in a stupid outfit and enclosed in a plastic box. No, the worst part was when he discovered that he was now alsoalso hung like a Ken doll. --JAS
 Surprisingly, Billy the Ambiguously Gay Stripper doll, was a big hit at Christian Coalition conventions. --Crack Baby
 Billy, the first AI doll, was quickly pulled from the stores after a KayBee manager found one doll, naked, in a pile of chocolate Easter bunnies. --Crack Baby
 Physical proof that gay pride is an oxymoron. --Ashhole
 In a sudden turn of practicality, the Grinch learned it was more effective to eroticize Christmas rather than just steal it. --Ashhole
 Save yourself $50. Go buy a GI Joe. It's much faggier and much cheaper. --Ashhole
 Oh, and I suppose there's mistletoe in his belly button? --Valvoline
 The question has been laid bare - all men have names for it, though some are apparently less secretive about it than others. --SlappyJack
 If this is what became of He-Man... I wanna see Teela! --Hooper_X
 The next sequel to Duke Nukem reaches out to a more, um, diverse audience. -- Crazy Climber
 This is what happens when you keep your 1977 Luke Skywalker action figure away from your Leia figure for twenty-two years. --Ratman
 Y'know, if you blow into the other end, his hat sticks straight up. --Leth
 Doctor X's Ultimate Dilemma: Is this a NAMBLA caption or a White Power caption? --Doctor X
 That Gay Billy doll you wanted...is sitting on a shelf in San Francisco. Who knew? -- The little-known eBay banner ad that gets placed on porn sites. --Annna
 If this is what Anakin Skywalker looks like before the scary black suit, we should have stopped at 3 movies! --Mr. ?
 Sesame Street quickly abandoned this bit. It was disturbing, controversial, and no one was learning the letter X. --Bad Girl
 And yet, they'd sell millions of 'em if it were a beanie baby. --Bad Girl
 Christmas comes but once a year. And so does Billy. --tralfaz
 "The Rough-Trade Xmas Billy...now with realistic fisting action. Crisco sold separately." --Uncle Dave

Back to the IADL Archive index
Back to It's A Dysfunctional Life