IADL #415
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 "But which of us will gestate the fetus?" --Stealth
 "Nice to meet you, too. Now get your goddamn walker off my foot!" --Stealth
 "I think my wife is beginning to suspect...." --Stealth
 I SAID YOU LEFT YOUR HEARING AID IN THE PUNCHBOWL! --Crack Baby
 No, they're not geriatric gay lovers - it's just that their hearing aids both crapped out at the same time. --Ratman
 Personally, Mr. Barker, your affair with your model, Janice, or was it Diane.... Anyway, I think it was in bad taste. I would've went for Holly! --Ratman
 Dick Gephardt's a homo. Pass it on. --Lord G
 "Thanks, sir. I'm sure we will be very happy together. Your daughter gives better head than any prostitute I've ever had." --snackwhore
 Before you die, Dad, I have to confess...we've been feeding you Alpo for the last 5 years... --Cranky Bear
 Altzhimers + Dentures + "Got your Nose" = Disaster --mooey
 Is no one immune to the terrible hypnotic powers of Tinky Winky? --mooey
 The end result of "Unsolved Mysteries" offering $100k for a snapshot of the grim reaper. --mooey
 Despite his advanced age, Sapek still dealt a mean Vulcan Nerve Pinch. That would be the last time Lashek hid his liver pills. --mooey
 "Uhhh heh heh ummm like you spawned a woodrow, doood." From the MTV Special Beavis and Butthead - The Golden Years --Rotgut
 Hold me, Frank --Skywise
 After a fan professed his love for the actor, Charlton Heston pulled out his .38, thanked God for the NRA, and commenced blasting. --Brandolon Hill
 See, I like garlic. Hah! --siren
 Everyone was always polite about listening to uncle Mike's "secret", even though the only thing he ever told them was "I'm not wearing any underpants." --the skyclad answer
 Their lesbian daughters now married and unwilling to even touch a man, these two fathers are forced to lead the first dance with each other. --BAR-1
 Hey! I'll bet nobody's thought up a "gay wedding" caption yet!! --BAR-1
 I SAID THAT YOU HAVEA NICE TIE, "I'm gonna die?", NO GOD DAMN IT, I SAID....... and the conversation lasted for hours --Themightymightyquinn
 1, 2, 3, DIP! --Microman
 That boy is mine. --Microman
 "So then Pat Buchanan says, 'Shoe? I thought he said Jew!' I tell ya, Senator, I thought I was going to shit my pants." --Talisker
 Get this. Tomorrow we're invading Saskatchewan. --Ken
 The demi-Lich reached for the lawyer's throat while millions applauded. --Stealth
 Hey, what do you say we repress some more minority groups. God I love being a wealthy member of White America!! --Stickman
 "...and if you EVER steal my lucky cufflinks again, I'm gonna make your balls burst like Calista Flockhart after Thanksgiving dinner!" --RM
 Scott Adams and Charles Schultz bemoan Bil Keane's third consecutive win of Comic Strip Artist of the Year. --Dik Browne
 You're kidding? Anna Nicole is your new wife? --Mitch
 "I said 'Good luck in Uganda, Ambassador!'" --crispy
 ...And in political news today, Senator Strom Thurmond went, what fellow senators have termed apeshit. Here he is seen headbutting fellow republican senator Trent Lott. "I'm not sure what happened," said Lott from Bethesda Veterans Hospital, where he is being treated for a concussion and fractured skull, "He (Thurmond) shouted something about 'being damned if Spinnwebe would get an NEA grant' and just, sort of snapped." Thurmond had to be tasered by Senate security forces. --The Notorious D.F.C. (It's long, it's a stretch, it's not gonna make it.)
 Don't you EVER blame one of those Yankee bean supper farts on me again, you old fossil... --rudy pepper
 After several daquaries, Smithers finally makes his move on Mr. Burnsl. --Nate - Release the hounds...
 "No, Reverend! I haven't been an altar boy in years! I'm not into that sort of thing anymore!" --Leth
 I slipped the DJ a twenty and told him to play Poppa's Got a Brand New Bag. --Bad Girl
 See? Pierced tongues are really in... --Bad Girl
 "A robin feeding its young!" This game of charades had gotten way too creepy... --Bad Girl

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