IADL #416
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Scan supplied by Daniel M. Laenker

 Cody paused... he had made the mistake of picking a fight in one of those rowdy "Mom Bars". --BAR-1
 Edith and Lisa attempt to finally ascertain Pat's gender by checking which side the button's of Pat's coat are on. --Stealth
 The waitresses hated cleaning the chairs after over excited "Magic:the Gathering" players left. --A Grouch
 In spite of the monkey staying well out of site in the back of his parka, the evidence on the chair gave him away. --A Grouch
 The waitresses tittered in amusement as Paul slinked dejectedly away. I gotta stop hitting on chicks during Friends of Evil Superman meetings, he mused. --Cranky Bear
 Julie kept her foot on the end of the toilet paper stream as Linda counted off the steps. Unbelievably, he had walked a full 20 steps before the line went taut. --Cranky Bear
 I'm drinking as fast as I can, Lady. I should have my beer goggles going in about an hour. --Destroyer
 The white elephant lowered it's trunk, grabbed jessica by the head, and placed her at her table while trained monkeys served the drinks. This 'party animals' resturaunt really rocks. --ChAoS
 Yet another child of the 80s who actually believed that "British Knights talk to girls" crap. --RM
 Sure, you want to do an "It's Pat" caption, but that twisted upper lip tells you that that might not be the best idea. --Wabewalker
 "I took care of your rat problem. That'll be 50 bucks. Sorry about the ricochet." --Richard Cranium
 Joey finally uses his powers for good and turns two more girls onto the unbridled joys of lesbianism. --Lots42@aol.com
 Dork..table for one. --Waldo
 After a stunned Toni and Sherri invited the rest of the waitstaff to see for themselves, the consensus decision was to just take Steve's chair out back and burn it. --Rotter
 A 21st birthday dinner at the Spaghetti Warehouse with both his sister and his Mom? Yes, Milt had it happening, all right. --Orrin Bloquy
 Every night is ladies night at Ms Lez --Les Miserables
 If thish ish what she loooooks like <hic> affa sheven beersh...I hate to thinks what she looksh like in da morning... --Les Miserables
 The girls conspired. Danny's breasts were bigger than both of theirs combined. Something had to be done. --Hooper_X
 The last known picture of Pat before the he/she was tried, sentenced and executed for being criminally unfunny. --Talisker
 "I'll hide here behind the salad bar and shoot a few pictures while Jim attempts to wrestle the sated Dork to the ground and insert a tag through his ear." - from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom Episode 385: "Dumpy Geeks - Pasty but Savage" --Talisker
 As Phillip went up to get his new friends another round of My Tais, Jolene and Kirstin admired the viscosity of the "sweat print" he left on his chair. --Semillama
 Ten bucks says he's got a copy of "The Catcher in the Rye" in the pocket of his stylish parka --Mitch
 Whenever he's near women, John looks like a deer in headlights. --Riff
 That look means only one thing: "Quit staring at my bitches." --Valvoline
 Chaz beats a hasty retreat after leaving behind yet another of his trademark "instant sculptures." Yes, feces was his medium, and his high-fiber diet guaranteed his inspiration. --Uncle Dave
 Janet and Emily breathed a sigh of relief as Justin slouched away withoug speaking. The endless stories about his lactating third nipple had become tedious. --Uncle Dave
 From his vantage point in the noisy New York club's security room, Lorne Michaels singles out those he will make late-night legends, star in crap films and ultimately sacrifice to his dark lord in return for undreamt-of power. These three would fulfill his Ascension, he knew it, or at least guest star on NewsRadio. --Orrin Bloquy
 Somewhere, another Old Coutry Buffet is suffering the ravages of Phillip and his insatiable apetite for meatloaf. --Nate
 "Hey, where'd Mary go?" Jeanne asked. "Dunno," Claire responded. "Burp," Jimmy said as he tried to nonchalantly slip away. --Leth
 Whoever said gortex was this year's hot fabric was wrong.... --Bad Girl
 Dick no longer believes "Moby" is a compliment... --Bad Girl
 This is what a 15th level Necromancer/Assassin really looks like. --Elbow
 Ted didn't mind the rejection, and he sort of enjoyed the name calling in a sick and masochistic sort of way. It was the wedgies that got to him. --aK h
 I pity the alien that bursts out of that stomach! --aK h (sorry, dm)
 "Oh GROSS !!!! Ted, the WHITE ZONE !! Do that in the WHITE ZONE, Ted !" --Bleech_
 Shelly and Marie were both surprised when Walter's other coat got off the chair and followed him to the restroom. --Crack Baby

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