IADL #42
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 NO, I'm * NOT * that " Hey, Vern! " guy! You want fries with that? --Doc Evil
 The tater-tots are done, inform Lord Vader! --Doc Evil
 Sure, you can have all the food you can eat, meet people and make great money, but it's these spiffy, kick-ass uniforms that make me want to work here! --Don Spudleone
 Oh, I used to make $40,000 a year as a factory forman...but that was before I was "downsized" and found an exciting career in our "service-based economy". --kafka
 Jim Varney, five years from now. Or maybe today, for all I know. I mean, have YOU seen him in anything recently? --Kurt S.
 Liddy Dole tries to convince the American public that she is not insensitive to the trials of today's youth. --Greg J
 Policy, schmolicy, for $4.95 an hour I ain't washin' any hands. --Greg J
 From Ripley's Believe it or Not: Erma Naylor of Savannah Georgia, a fast-food worker, will give a plain hamburger to a customer who orders one nearly 90% of the time! --Greg J
 "This mutant, produced through DNA manipulation via inbreeding, is our prototype of a better fast food worker: fewer blemishes, and fully posable. Soon, I'll dominate the WORLD! Ah, hah, hah, ha, HAH!!" --Dave Thomas, Egomanical Restauranteur
 ee...that was one deep-fried, heavily breaded Slab o' White Fish, 1 small Almost-Veggie and Mayo Salad, and one large pink fluid from the large, clear plastic convection box behind me...that'll be $9.25...Thank you for eating at the mall food court. NEXT! --Jojo the Spiv
 Mmmmmm...Mayonaise...Mayonaise...Mayonaise...Mayona...WHA? Oh sorry...UH, welcome to Ed's House of Golden Corn Starch...can I take your order? --Jojo the Spiv
 Yeah, it's kind of tough having a foot for a hand, but hey, what are you gonna do? --Cheezo
 Suddenly, edna called forth the powers of hell to destroy all the insolent fools who had not wanted fries with that. --the wonder cheese
 I'm sorry, but we're closed for right now. Jimmy caught his hair on fire playing with the grease traps again. --Don Spudleone
 Welcome to Saturated Fat King, home of the Cholesterol Burger and the Tub-o-Lardy-Potatoes Fries. Can I take your order? --The Outsider
 Frequently the aliens captured their Earth specimens by distracting them with a cloud of fog, and then knocking them out by dropping a TV set on their heads. --Sauk Hawk
 G. Gordon Liddy's memoir "Will" inspired Erma to hold her arm over the steam table for long periods of time. --Capt. phealy
 Ladies and Gentlemen, Mary here says that she came all the way from Boston to be on our show. Give her a hand. Okay, Mary, you ready to play? Alright, take a look at that picture right over there. You know how it works: Guess the gender, win a toaster. --Der Tanzer
 Who says a Bachelor's Degree in History can't get you a good job? --G. Sarducci
 Thinking only to relieve some flatulence, Benny's laxative picked an inoppurtune time to kick in. --anon
 Gary tried unsucessufully to hold back the tears of joy. He had just landed a job at the mall (including all the free soda he could drink) and was making minimum wage. All his life's dreams were now fulfilled. --anon
 What's that, one order of fries and a large Coke? Do you want any french...er, would you care for something to dr...er...Damn this job is tough! --anon
 Goin' Postal: It isn't just for mailmen anymore. --Capt. phealy
 From "Avoidable Accidents in the Workplace, Chapter 2": Kelly accidentally places his hand in the deep fryer while trying to read the "CAUTION HOT OIL" sign. --Coyote
 Dave Thomas' bastard son, Sparky, shows his rebellion by working at a competing fast-food chain. --R. McDonald

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